Twinkle Little Star

2!

I know every parent says this, but I cannot believe that I now have two two year olds. Two years ago today, I gave birth to two 5-ish pound 35 weekers who didn't know how to suck and who rapidly sunk to 4 pounds by the time I brought them home. I was for sure I was going to kill 'em any second. And if not them, myself. Now they are around 27 pounds each and are about 2'9" tall and can do so many things and say so many words that I can't keep track anymore. The reason parents have birthday parties for kids this young who don't even know it is their birthday is to celebrate getting through it. It is a celebration for the parents who then make a special day for their children if for anything just to thank them for entering our lives and putting up with us.

We did have a very good day today. D and I took the kids to the Children's Museum. They are really getting to be able to do most of the activities there. We always start off in the "Baby Garden" to get them acclimated. This usually takes around a half an hour, especially for Naim to get comfortable. Today, they both headed straight there on their own and started playing right away instead of doing the shy mom-cling. Then they played in the pretend doctors office, the construction pit, the waterworks (Naim still has texture issues here...so he mostly did the dad-cling while I played with Aaron and tried not to get completely wet), then their little grocery store/kitchen where they pushed little carts around and grabbed food and then even put everything back without even being asked, then we went and played at a big train table (yea! I found a train set they can play on that doesn't live at my house!) and then we tried story time, but they were too tired for it. We went and had an indoor picnic lunch that I brought and back on the train and home. After a nap, D and his father came over for pizza and cake and although I did not get them anything present wise, they got some nifty wooden cars, and a loud, annoying very educational, I'm sure, caterpillar that has alphabet for feet from their grandpa. Naim has already picked his favorite song off of it. They were riled up after that and did not want to go to bed but were too tired to be any use to themselves and thus became cranky. I let them watch "Blue's Clues" to round off their day of special things they don't usually get to do and then to bed they went.

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I want to just jot down a few developmental things here so I remember. Probably boring to most--it's your call.

Naim:

Naim is full of personality, goofiness and character. He is shy at first but is very outgoing once he is comfortable with you. He is very physical and does not like to sit for long. He likes this game that he calls "RUN" while he signs the sign for run so vigorously that he practically propels himself forward with just the force of the sign itself. We basically run through the house from the front door to the back door and back. We do different kinds of walking or running on each turn. We might stomp, walk like a penguin, walk and clap or with our hands up in the air, walk backwards or turn in circles or whatever. It is basically our form of follow the leader. With my broken foot, I haven't been able to play with him as much like this. This was really a problem for a few days, but now he is content to play the game himself or with Aaron with me just encouraging him on the sidelines.

Naim and I have worked extensively on speech and language the past few months and I have seen a lot of improvement. He is starting to enunciate more and more words that are understandable. The dreaded point and grunt is almost all but gone now. He will now sit with me for short periods with a book or with a sit down activity like coloring or play doh. We painted with watercolor and brushes the other day and he is getting better with tolerating different textures. He also is starting to be able to stand to squish the play doh a bit more. He is getting to be better at eating now and will try more foods at least. He is starting to figure out that just because something was too hot SIX MONTHS AGO!! that it isn't necessarily too hot this time. He says  a few two to three word sentences now. Mostly things like "Lights off." and "More milk." He also is starting to say, "Help me, please," when he can't do something instead of screaming his head off.

Naim is my constant helper with housework and chores. He loves to help me empty and load the dishwasher, sweep the floor, add/remove laundry from the washer and dryer, put things in the trash, get his bath things ready, pick up his toys. I almost feel guilty having him go and fetch me stuff so often because he actually really is starting to help me rather than be a pain in my side. But he really enjoys it and wants to help so I think it is good for him. I'm so totally not used to having a little man servant around. I suppose it won't last so I better enjoy it.

Naim's "spectrum-y" type behaviors still are of some concern, but I'm keeping a cool head about it at this time. He is extremely routine dependant and has some trouble with textures and has some almost OCD elements in his personality. When we had the cats, we needed to keep the door open to the path to their litter. Naim was crazy obsessive about shutting this door. Now he is crazy obsessive about which lights need to be on and which don't. I am noticing that as his language and understanding improves, we are able to get over some of these things. He had a problem with the dishwasher. He wanted to shut it constantly and turn it on. We had several tantrums when I did not let him turn it on, but eventually, he now gets that sometimes we turn it on and sometimes we don't. So, I'm thinking these may be quirky toddler things based on his anxiety over anticipatory stuff and as his language improves it will fade away. Despite some suggestions by others, I am not even close to ready to call in early intervention yet. My best intentions are for us to fly right under that radar. So far the stuff I am doing to help him anticipate what is coming and to be more flexible seems to be helping.

This routine dependence makes him an mostly very well-behaved child. He likes to know what is expected of him and he likes to comply. He easily walks with me and doesn't run off when we are out without the stroller. He listens and follows directions very well. He is so funny and friendly. One of my favorite things about Naim is his love for music. When he was a baby, he could be settled by the right bluesy number. Now, he almost always has a song in his head that he is singing. He knows a lot of classical tunes that he can sing and dance to upon hearing the name of the song. He picks up new songs right away and has definite preferences for music. He can keep a beat and has a bit of rhythm when he dances. He can finish the lyrics of many songs if I get him started. For his speech, we have read poems together and I've had him finish each line of familiar poems. He really enjoys rhythmic language. I will figure out how to give him some real opportunities to explore music in his future.

Naim does not need much physical affection, but will come and get some momlovins when he needs them. He has shown empathy for Aaron when Aaron has been crying or hurt. He also treats his dolls lovingly and is very gentle with the cats. I worry a bit about Naim letting Aaron dominate him and I'm still thinking about how to best deal with that. Naim is so much fun and mostly such an easy going kid to have around. Everyone loves Naim.

Aaron:

D and I still joke that Aaron is your standard issue baby. That does not mean that there is nothing special about him, he is just extremely typical of a lot of toddler's that I have worked with. Aaron still has his stunning smile that he will share with almost anyone. He is very willing to just jump into a new situation. Aaron is very affectionate and needs lots of hugs and kisses throughout the day. On average, he has got me in about one huge long bear hug every half hour.

He likes to sit and play with toys and read books more than run around. Although sometimes he and Naim will chase each other around the house and giggle and scream. He still can't keep up with Naim, but his walking has gotten much steadier. He is very squirmy and likes to tumble around and climb a lot, though. He likes me to throw him upside down and swing him around and stuff.

Aaron is all about language. His enunciation is almost perfect. There is very little baby talk with him. He says words slowly and deliberately, pausing to think between each word in order to get that enunciation down. I have no idea how many words he knows now. He learns new words almost instantly and every day there are new words he has learned. He talks in two or three word sentences most of the time and also likes to repeat everything you say. (Scary!) There is also getting to be less and less talking above him because he picks out things from your conversation. Lately he has not wanted me to read him books. He wants to sit with his own books and read them himself.

There is a margin of error, but Aaron knows his main colors, shapes, letters, and numbers up to around 5-10. He finds letters everywhere. On cereal boxes, the light rail train, TV, clothing, toothpaste. He doesn't know the small letters as well but knows all the capitals. I told him the other day that the "Q" he identified on the oatmeal started the word Quaker and the "O" said Oats. Three days later I asked him to get me oatmeal from the cupboard and he put his finger on the wording and traced it while saying "Quaker Oats." I cannot stop this kid from learning to read. I think by this time next year he might be reading early phonics books.

Aaron has a stubborn side and he can be a bit of a bully. He grabs toys away from Naim and also gets very jealous over my attention. I'm still trying to think of the best way to deal with this. If I pull the toy back out of his hand, that seems to reinforce that pulling toys away from people is OK. Naim doesn't help matters when I try to get Aaron to give the toy back, but by that time, Naim is so upset he doesn't want the toy anymore. My new strategy is to let him take the toy, say something to the effect that he made Naim very sad by taking his toy away, and then ignore him while showering Naim with attention as we find something new for him to do. Aaron is an attention whore, so sometimes he is pulling the toy away not so much for the toy itself, but because Naim and I were playing with it. He thinks my interest is the toy. Not playing with Naim. So I think I will ignore and still play with Naim. If you all have a better idea that you've tried for this, let me know.

Aaron tests and tests and tests my limits. He tries my patience, but then takes it so personally and gets so upset when I don't let him do something. D and I joke that Aaron is an only child trapped in a twin's body. I love to sit on the couch with Aaron and read and talk together. I love his smile in the morning and all of his hugs. He can work himself into the most delightful full fledged laugh and you can't help but laugh, too. But I do need breaks from Aaron in order to give him the patience he needs and the attention he demands. We will get through the twos, Aaron and I, I just have to work on helping him work his stubbornness into something useful and help him find ways  to keep himself company sometimes. I think he is going to be a naturally social child. I think he might be a kid who likes a lot of people around. I am looking forward to having a lot of real and diverse conversations with him when he is older.

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Now that they are two, they have aged in to a couple of activities that we will be trying. At the gym where I take them for two hours, three days a week for childcare, they have "Little Feet Fridays." This is basically a playgroup for two to four year olds that is in the big gym, not in childcare, for a half-hour. They get to play in the inflatable things, do little obstacle courses, play with balls and scooters, etc. It is a gross motor skill, run off the excess energy activity that we so sorely need in the winter months here. They also can be in childcare for more than two hours at a time now, so I might start alternating and taking one of them swimming with me for a half hour on the days that I swim. This will give them some time apart, which they've had zilch of, and also give them some one on one time with me. Also, at the Children's Museum, we might try a toddler clay/art class for two and three year olds. This will hopefully help Naim with some of his hating to touch anything stuff. And it is clay/art somewhere that is not my home and thus I don't have to clean it up. Right after that, they have a toddler story/song time that I think we'll try as long as we are there. Then we still have our healthy start teacher coming twice a month. She is very nice and I like her, but she gives me very little useful information whatsoever. However, I think due to lack of family participation, it is good that the kids have a visitor and a chance to be social. She also always brings fun activities for them to do that I was too lazy to think up. And then we continue to work through "Slow and Steady, Get Me Ready" and my Montessori Assistant to Infancy textbooks at a very informal and leisurely pace. If for no other reason than that the activities in these books that mostly require things like toilet paper rolls, clothespins and shoe boxes; which has allowed me to get by without buying and putting out a million toys.

And that is a look at where we are and what things look like here in the near future for us. I can't believe I have TWO year olds already!!! Have I said that? But then I think about that when my mother was my age she had a 14 year old and a 16 year old. Wow. I'm old.

Hooked on Phonemes

I mentioned in an earlier post that I was working with Naim on speech acquisition and Kathryn, who is a fellow blogger and mother to the adorable Ellie, asked me to expand on that a bit. I also just want to record this for my own notes so I can come back later and see where we've progressed to.

Naim and Aaron are in very different places with speech, although I think their language skills are similar and are well within range of normal for their age. To define our terms, language skills are those skills in which you actually understand and can process and form the symbolic system of communication in use (in our case, English or Sign Language are the languages we use.) Speech is the specific skill of being able to orally articulate verbal language in a way that is understood.

Aaron's language and speech skills are within the normal range of your average two year old. He can understand and follow simple instructions. He can sign one to two word phrases. He is able to articulate to me his needs in one to three word phrases and signs. His speech is clear with most of your basic consonant-vowel-consonant words such as cat, dog, hat. He can say multiple syllable words but will sometimes skip the down-stressed syllable. For example, he will say dine-saur, rather than dinosaur. He is just starting to say some of the easier digraphs such as the /sh/ sound, but cannot yet do a harder /th/ sound. His /r/'s and /l/'s are soft but barely there. Sometimes he just wants to name everything he sees in monotone shouts and wants me to confirm and reinforce his speech. In short, he is a pretty typical almost two year old.

Naim will identify correctly any common toddler object that I give him the name of. He can follow two or sometimes three step directions. He signs one word signs to let you know what he wants, but does not sign as much as Aaron. He is very expressive and talks with his hands in big, sweeping gestures to tell you a very long and detailed story full of facial expressions but with no discernible words. His babble has periods, commas and question marks. He exclaims and exposits, emphasizing certain portions of his story and downplaying others. He speaks in whole paragraphs, but with not an articulated and understandable English word in the entire mix. I think he is picking up on the rhythm of the language and the nonverbal portions of it first, while enunciation may come later. Aaron is very concerned about his correct enunciation and takes his time with each part of a word. Naim is talking so fast that his words all run together.

Both Aaron and Naim have had their hearing tested twice and so far do not appear to have a hearing loss. However, we will be retesting them again at age 3 and probably 5, due to the inaccuracies of infant and toddler audiology testing. I have done my own informal tests with them along the way as well. For example, I will tell them to do specific things for me with my back turned away from them and they both will follow my verbal instructions without seeing me say them. So, I do not feel like hearing is a factor in Naim's speech. There is the added challenge that I am hearing impaired and may not be able to reinforce and correct their speech as well as a hearing mother. With Aaron, this hasn't seemed to affect him, but it may be a factor with Naim.

To give you an idea of my hearing in functional terms, I'll tell you about little tests on myself that I've done with D. I will have D cover his face with a piece of paper or something and then randomly say the phonemes to me. Phonemes are the smallest audible parts of speech. Think of the dictionary pronunciation tables, those are the English phonemes. So he will say, "Chuh. Buh. Duh. Luh. Fuh." etc., and ask me to repeat them back. Without my hearing aids, I can repeat all the vowel sounds but get 0% on any of the consonants. With hearing aids, I get all of the vowels and then about 5% of the consonants. With hearing aids and with being able to look at him at approximately 2 feet away from me, I will get all of the vowels and about 35% of the consonants correct. Now I can understand actual speech a bit better than this because there is a context to it in your conversation. And also I use a skill sometimes called "clozure" where my brain fills in the missing sounds. (I do this with vision as well. In fact, this is a skill on some IQ tests, and my score on this particular skill is usually off the charts.) However, since toddlers talk so randomly and so inaccurately, clozure and context really don't help much and put me at a bit of a disadvantage. So I do ask others like D and the Healthy Start teacher to also listen to the kids' speech and tell me what they hear.

There are many reasons a kid might be delayed on speech. Naim's issues and those of a child with Cerebral Palsy might be caused by very different things. For example, a kid with Cerebral Palsy might understand exactly what sounds to make and may know exactly how to form his muscles in his mouth and throat to make the sounds, but his body will not cooperate with his brain. Or, if she has developmental delays, which some kids with CP have but definitely not all, there may be some language issues involved, too. She may be having trouble matching the language symbols to the concrete thing they represent, or just may have trouble memorizing the vocabulary. Another language delay is called aphasia, where your brain knows exactly what it wants to say but it gets lost somewhere from the thought to the mouth. Its that, "its on the tip of my tongue" feeling. Some kids have this to the extreme. My father actually has trouble with aphasia that has affected him his whole life. My point here is, the first step is to find out what the specific problem is and what is its cause.

With Naim, I think it is probably a combination of two things that are very common in toddlers. First, I think he hasn't yet developed good phoneme awareness. The elaborate way he expresses himself makes me think he is watching language and conversation as a whole and is not breaking it down into it's little parts so much yet enough to realize that those little parts (enunciation) matter! Secondly, I think it is just a common case of not having developed the tongue, face, and throat muscles enough yet to pull correct enunciation off. This is a fine motor skill and those skills develop at different paces in different kids. For the record, I don't think Naim has a serious problem or delay, I think he is just developing differently than Aaron and some other kids. I think Naim had a period of spending a lot of time on walking and gross motor skills while Aaron was not walking at all and had his head in a book with me. Now, I think that Naim is more ready to focus on communication. I also think that coupled with my hearing loss and the fact that at 22 months, he was barely enunciating any words correctly, it deserved a bit of my concentrated thought and attention.

And since sitting down and really assessing him and working on this in the past month and a half, he has made great strides. He now has quite a few words that I can understand that he uses fairly regularly. He says car, 'nana, bubbles, dog, mama, (m)elmo, up, off, on, down, go, ball, etc. These are still not crystal clear, but you can tell what he is trying to say.

Basically, I've tried to step up these kinds of activities:

1. I have taken any opportunity to break words down into their phonemes. Naim seems to get the whole of the language, but is not breaking it down into its little parts so that he can slow down and say them correctly. We just play phoneme games and songs and say goofy words and letter sounds a lot. We have those bath letters that stick to the tub. We talk about how a B says Buh, an H says Huh, etc. Any little kid who knows that a cow says moo and a duck says quack can start to work on phonics and letter recognition. Aaron knows the whole alphabet and most of the basic phonemes and Naim knows some. We also play games where I give the ASL letter sign and he tells me what letter it is. He knows these and by saying the name, he gets to practice the sounds they make (well, except for that darned /W/). They have to be in the mood for this and you kind of have to sense when they've had enough, but they usually think it is great fun when they are ready for it.
2. Along with the above practice, we've been just practicing making different sounds, usually using music. Naim really has always had a joy and interest in music. He can da da da out some classics like Beethoven's Ninth, Vivaldi's Spring, Dvorak's New World Symphony(?), and that Nutcracker Waltz that escapes me at the moment. Any song will do, we also use nursery rhyme songs like BINGO and that damned Elmo's World irritant from hell. Just replace da da da with other phonemes like fa fa fa, ca ca ca, ga ga ga. A note here about phonemes. Kids learn them in a predictable order. the hard consonants like /c/ as in cat and /d/  come first. L's, R's and soft /g/'s like the second g in garage will come later on. Things like /th/ and /z/ might not come until age four or five. So don't just go through the dictionary pronunciation key and expect your kid to learn them in order like the alphabet. It isn't going to happen. Just look at what your kid is already doing and take it from there. Also, kids usually will do the beginning word sounds first. Cah for cat. It takes a while for the ending consonant to come. And also consonant blends like /sm/ or /cr/ will not come for a while either.
3. We have spent a lot of time with "Look and Find" books. You know these books that have a big, detailed panoramic picture on each page with a lot of stuff going on? Start by pointing to the pictures and talk about them and tell your kid what they are. Then, when your kid is familiar with the book and knows the vocabulary, start asking him, Do you see a cat? Where is the clock? Try to get your kid to repeat the words as he touches them. Next, point to something and ask "What's that?" You can also work on individual phonemes by looking for all the things that start with the letter D and calling his attention that dog, donut, dice, and dad all start with d-d-d-D! At this age, Naim cannot find all the D words himself, but I help him and we talk about examples and non examples of D while we look at the pictures.
4. We started memorizing poems and rhymes and after I've said them several times, I have him start filling in the words. For example, Naim loves "Goodnight Moon." So we read it daily, I can even recite it when we are out and about without the book in front of me. He is always impressed by this and claps when I'm done. Tee Hee. When we get to certain lines, I have him finish. The one he likes best is "Good night to the quiet old lady whispering ______." Where he fills in the word "hush." If you say these poems with a certain cadence enough times, then you just stop before the end of the word and leave the kid hanging, it will drive him nuts and even the most reluctant talker will usually give it a go. At first, take whatever comes out of their mouth as the most perfect wonderfully articulated word ever. Anything to get them started. Another good way to do this is with a song or a poem with accompanying body actions. Freeze your body and your mouth right before the end of the song lyric, and don't move until the kid attempts to finish it. For example stop with your spider hands midair while saying the last line, "The itsy bitsy spider went up the spout a-______" Wait with mock anticipation while your child finishes "-gain." They will think this is hilarious. After they can do the last word or syllable, try more words or different words in the middle.
5. I don't accept the point and grunt. Kids can really easily get into the point and grunt habit to communicate. And if they find that this is effective, there is no reason for them to work on speech or language. I abhor the point and grunt. If it becomes habit, you will have to deal with it all day long and it will drive you insane. BATSHIT insane for you, Kathryn! Start easy on this and build up to avoid frustration on your kid's part. If you know what he wants and you know he knows the word, don't give in to the point and grunt. If he wants a cookie that you've got right there in plain site and he's pointing and grunting at it, just act like you have no idea whatever it could be that he wants. Take any attempt at anything but the point and grunt: more, cookie, please, cracker, coo-eee, whatever. Just not the point and grunt.This is where signs have really come into play for Naim, because I will accept signs instead of speech for now. Then always model the correct word or phrase that he should be saying and give a lot of praise for his attempt. The exception to this is when he is pointing and grunting away and you have no idea what the hell he wants. Then just concentrate on trying to figure out what it is. But when you do, model the correct words and try to give him a couple more opportunities to ask for it again. (Like if he wanted a cookie, just give him the one and then wait for him to attempt to ask for one or two more instead of just giving it to him.) If he wants something you can't give him, like a butcher knife, you might want to go easy as well, but I would still make an attempt to get him to ask for it by name. Then acknowledge what he wants. "Oh, I understand! You want me to give you this nine inch sharp knife! Thank you for telling me what you wanted! But, ah, no. Sorry, I'm not going to give you the knife. Lets find something else to do." Sometimes kids just want their communication to be acknowledged, even if they are going to get shot down.
6. I've tried to step up the talking to Naim in descriptive terms. "Oh, you have the car? That's the green car with yellow wheels. You're making it drive up to the back of the couch? Where is it going now? Now you are taking the green car back down the couch on to the floor!" This can be exhausting and you will annoy yourself doing it. But it gets the kids listening to the sounds and also to start thinking in language. Getting that inner voice going.

Okay, I just noticed that I went from a nice passive voice of "this is what I've been doing with Naim lately", to a much more annoying authoritative voice of "this is what you should do with your child." I apologize for this. I don't mean it! It is from a bad habit of having to write years of teacher-y directives. Of course these are just ideas of what I'm doing and you all are doing your own good ideas and what works best for you and your own kid. Don't make me go back and change it all, please? I promise not to do it again! Well, I probably will. But I'll try not to, okay?

I do feel like Naim has turned a corner these last few weeks. This is perhaps because of some of my activities and my picking up the intensity and my expectations for him as far as his speech. But it could also be that he is just ready to get started now and he has physically and emotionally matured to a point where he can start to work on this now. So, I think he will be fine. It has been fun to finally get to sit with him and have him enjoy a book and a little conversation.

Speaking of conversation, just a few weeks ago, I realized that I had an actual real back and forth conversation with Aaron instead of our usual one word utterances. I will transcribe it for you now:

Aaron: (Climbs up onto rocker across the room with some toys in his hands. Too far away for me to see.)

Mom: Aaron, what do you have? A yellow car?

Aaron: No. No yellow car.

Mom: You don't have the yellow car? What do you have in your hand that is yellow?

Aaron: (Holds up other hand.) Red car. Aaron (pronounced ARN-nuh) red car. No yellow car.

Mom: Oh, you have the red car. I see. But what else did you bring with you? What is that yellow I see?

Aaron: Choo-choo train.

Mom: Oh, you have the yellow train?

Aaron: No! Choo Choo Train!!

Mom: Oh, sorry. You have the choo choo train.

Aaron: YELLOW!!! YELLOW Choo choo train.

Mom: I've got it now, Aaron. You've got the red car and the yellow choo choo train.

Aaron: Yes. No. No yellow car. Yellow choo choo train.

A conversation! Today we clarify the hue proper names of our transportation vehicles. Tomorrow Homer's Odyssey.

First Steps

At 15 and a half months, here is the kids' weights:

Aaron:
21 pounds, 14 ounces
6th percentile for weight
2 feet, 7 inches tall
41st percentile for height

Naim:
22 pounds
14th percentile for weight
2 feet, 6 1/2 inches tall
26th Percentile for height

First of all, this is the first time in recorded history that Naim has weighed more than Aaron. the kid who didn't eat for the first month of his life now eats circles around his brother, who has become a bit of a picky eater. Second, notice how much 2 ounces and 1/2 inch makes in the percentiles. People always seem horrified when I tell them the percentiles, but there is really just a couple of inches/pounds between the 3rd and the 97th percentiles. These are not adjusted for prematurity, which officially they can do until the kids are two years old. They've followed their percentile arc appropriately, actually they've only jumped up to higher arcs since the beginning when they were dropping below the charts. So, they are preemie twins, still. And they are doing good.

Finally, a drum roll is needed......

Naim took his first steps!!!

Now, he has taken a little step or two before, but I'm going on record as his first steps being today, March 23rd. Today he walked about 15 feet all the way across my living room while holding a push toy in the air. I think he thought he was holding on to a walker or something. I had to test him to see if he knew he was walking, because his is a confidence issue and I wanted him to know. So (and this is what single moms do in lieu of husbands) I propped him up on a coffee table and then sat in a chair about 5 feet away and encouraged him to walk to me, and he did it several times. I'd walk him back, and then he would walk to me. He was ecstatic with himself. Before, when I've tried to do this, he would just drop to the floor and crawl, even if I was only six inches away. After this he got tired and was a crawler again, but I'm thinking this was a breakthrough after 6 months of cruising.

Still no word from Aaron on whether he ever intends to walk. But I think Naim walking might give Aaron an idea or two.

So, if you are reading this and you also know that pseudo-husband of mine, do me a favor and don't let him know yet. I think if I tell him, he will be sad he missed it. But if I wait a few days and show him by surprise (if Naim will cooperate), I think it will be more fun for him.

What am I gonna do with an ambulatory child who can move through 3 dimensional space without borders to hang on to? I mean, he walked right across the living room.

Naim and the IV Pole

D sent me these pictures today off of his cell phone. And as you can see they are cell phone quality, but I still thought they were kind of cute.

What Naim Can Do*

Naim can build a tower with four empty canisters of Carnation Instant Breakfast Drink and knock it down.

Naim can shake his head, "no," but only when he is sitting in his highchair. If he does it anywhere else, he loses balance and falls over.

Naim can say, "Dah!" with enough nuance that you know whether he is saying Duck, Dad, Dog, or Done.

Naim can stand for about ten seconds or more, but only when he forgets to hold on to something. As soon as he remembers, he can't stand anymore.

Naim can ask me questions, make proclamations, and make thoughtful commentary all with his varied and expressive phrasing and chaining of two letter words consisting of one consonant and one vowel.

Naim can walk at at least 4 mph or faster, pushing his mother's hands forward so hard that he is practically leaning forward at a 45 degree angle with his own momentum.

Naim can turn around and head the other direction when he walks like this to the end of the room and back without losing speed.

Naim can eat bananas, blueberries, crackers and peanut butter, Cheerio's, peas, peaches, and toast without these foods having even hit the blender.

Naim can crawl up my lap, to my shoulder, and up the back of the couch, but he can't get back down.

Naim can crawl up a flight of stairs just to do it, then wants his mother to carry him back down so he can do it all over again.

Naim can stick out his tongue and blow raspberries, and then laugh when he spits on you.

Naim can open up the DVD player and CD player and take discs out and put them back in.

Naim can then push every button until his desired outcome occurs, which is usually playing said disc and turning up the volume to VERY LOUD.

Naim can distinguish between our 8 lb., four legged, black dog and our 8 lb., 4 legged, black cat. He can say "KA!" and "DAW!" when he sees them. He also can point and scold them when they get on the table.

Naim can dance, if you want to call it dancing. You would want to call it the cutest thing you ever saw.

Naim can lift his hand up into finger spelling position and finger spell (in his own way) through the alphabet song.

Naim knows when I say the Pat-a-Cake rhyme that it's time to clap.

Naim can take all of his clothes out of the dresser drawer and put all of his blocks in instead.

Naim can take clothes out of the hamper and put them in the diaper garbage.

Naim can drag pots and lids out of the kitchen cupboards and match lids to said pots.

Naim can wipe his tray on his high chair with a washcloth, and then spit the 4 remaining cheerios he had hiding in his mouth back out on it.

Naim can empty the bottom rung of the dishwasher, even when the dishes are still dirty.

Naim can pull out clothes from the clothes drying faster than I can grab and fold them, and then hand them to me from off the floor where he dumped them.

Naim can pick up individual pieces of cat food and drop them in the water dish, just to watch them expand.

Naim can show me his toes, if I remind him where they are first.

Naim can kiss me back if I kiss him first; if you count a big, open mouthed slob-fest a kiss, which I do.

Naim can give me a hug, which usually consists of him collapsing on my shoulder so I can do all the work.

Naim can try my patience to the extent that I have to walk away for a few minutes because Naim CAN'T lay still for even a millisecond to get his diaper changed.

Naim can let me know in no uncertain terms that bedtime wasn't his idea in the first place, even though he's dead tired from doing all these things that Naim can do.

Five minutes later, Naim can be a little sleeping angel.

*Aaron can produce gargantuan volumes of snot and rub it all over me while sitting on my lap all day as we watch Naim do what Naim can do. Aaron is a bit indisposed this week, but we'll let him have his blog day when he feels better and Naim is the one blowing snot all over me.

Eleven Months and Already Being Demanding

Scene: Breakfast. Feeding the kids alternative spoonfuls of mushed up apples and bananas.

Me: (singing) I like to eat, I like to eat, I like to eat, eat, apples and bananas...

Aaron: Mmmm Yummm Mmmm More yum-yum noises.

Me: A lake to ate, A lake to ate, a lake to ate, ate ayples and banaynays.

Naim: Pounds fists on table because I'm taking to long with Aaron

Aaron: Yummmm Mmmmm Yummm

Me: E Leek to Eet ....

Niam: Na nananananana POUND POUND POUND

Me: I like to ite, I like to ite...

Aaron: Hmmm Yummmm Mmmmm

Niam: BAH!!!! NAH!!!!! NAH!!!!

Me: (astonished) What? Did you say banana?

Niam: (Pounds on table) BA NA NA!!!! BA NA NA!!!! BANANA!!!!

Me: Do you want some more Bananas?

Niam: (gives his "you eeeediot" look of exasperation) BAH!!!! NAH!!!! NAH!!!!

Me: Well, here you go then.

Niam: Big Laugh. (She finally gets it.)

Aaron: Mmmmm Yummmm Hmmmm Yummmm

Naim's Name

Here's a new one:

"Don't you think it will be confusing for them when they get older when one has a Christian name and the other has a Muslim name?"

"Confusing, How?"

"Oh, I don't know. Just maybe Aaron will feel better about himself because he has a Christian name. Naim is going to get stopped in the airports. I mean, Naim Ferris sounds really Arab. People will think he's Arab until they see him."

"Well, as far as I know, he might choose to be Muslim when he grows up."

Jaw drops all around.

I actually didn't intentionally pick one Arab name and one Judeo-Christian name. It's just kind of how it happened. My sister doesn't even think the name Naim exists. She thinks he will grow up being called "Name Ferris." Its actually NAH-eem. D and I have Midwestern drawled it down to NAH-yim. My dad calls him Nymie, and he calls himself Ni-Ni. But Naim is a real name. We'll see how much he hates me for it as he grows up. Hopefully, he will like its uniqueness. If someone named Naim becomes famous in the next twenty years, it will instantly become ordinary (see Aidan and Liam--sheesh.) And it doesn't bother me that it is a derivative of Noam as in Chomsky. I rather like that. Hopefully, the country will eventually come to its senses and he will not have to worry about being racially/ethnically profiled because of his name. I can only wish.

He was actually named after Naim Suleymanoglu, the four time Olympian who defected from Bulgaria to Turkey and competed in weightlifting, winning multiple gold medals. He's 4'11" tall, known as the "Pocket Hercules" and is one of a few people to lift three times his body weight. D and I first decided to name our kid Naim 9 years ago while watching the Atlanta Olympics in '96. We were not and are not weightlifting fans, it was just one of those things that caught our attention when watching the Olympics. When our Naim showed up on the ultrasounds as the little underdog twin, stuck down under his brother who was taking up the majority of the upstairs apartment suite in my uterus, we decided the name stuck. Naim was named from the time I was probably ten or twelve weeks pregnant. (One thing good about having a high risk pg, is you get A LOT of high quality ultrasounds to get to know your kids with. Most women get one or two, I probably got ten or twelve.)

I like Naim's name. Everyone mispronounces it. We have to explain it and spell it all the time and we get funny looks occasionally. But it fits him. Or he fits it. He just seems like a Naim.

A Portrait of My Children

Kids, I went to get your picture taken today. This will probably be one of those pictures that all the relatives will have and will follow you for the rest of your life. So let me tell you a bit about yourselves as you are on this day. I am going to do this without using any comparatives, such as more or better, because I have a feeling that as twins  that is all you are going to hear from your relatives and others. Naim is better than Aaron at this. Aaron is more that. When you hear all these comparisons, always remember that it doesn't matter. Your mom and you will always know that you are both special in your own ways as individuals.

Aaron,

You are a stocky, round-faced, Gerber baby who smiles easily and you show off your six teeth that came in almost all at once at six months of age. Your eyes have changed from a brilliant blue to a grey-hazel that changes with what you wear. People say you look like the donor that helped us have you and that you look Russian, as the donor was Russian. I think you look beautiful. You have features that I would call "pretty" even though you probably won't like me saying that later on. When you smile, it is with your whole body. Your eyes look upon me with joy, and your arms and legs kick around with delight at what a wonderful thing it is that has been entertaining you.

Right now, you are doing what Grampa Fred calls "the swim." It is not quite a crawl, but a scoot. You are very proficient at it. You are constantly crawling and exploring and getting into every nook at cranny that we've never thought of baby proofing. Currently you make a daily trip to visit the closest spring door stop. You enjoy the BOOIIING sound that it makes when you hit it with your finger. You take the little rubber knob off and I have to watch that you don't swallow it. You can keep yourself busy exploring a box or pulling books off the bookshelf (all of them.), but when I come close, I am greeted with a big smile and an immediate scoot in my direction. When reaching me, you try to climb up on me, you're getting pretty close to being able to do it, and I pick you up to get a dose of Aaron cuddliness.

And you are cuddly. You are very affectionate and love kisses and hugs. I am your favorite plaything right now. You like me to hold you and bounce you on my lap and you arch your back so you can hang upside down. You like any sort of movement.

Your grampa says you are "tough" because sometimes you will fall over on your head and just laugh about it. I've always seen you as sensitive. When you cry, it is because you are really hurt. And I don't just mean physically. You have cried when I have had to step over you and could not reciprocate your affection right away. Today you were so offended when you crawled into the kitchen at your daddy's house and I busy cleaning the kitty litter. I know I'm such a mean mommy to not let you play with a plastic trash bag with dirty kitty litter in it! But you soon forgave me and when I was busy with my hands full of cleaning the litter, you were satisfied to just plant yourself around my legs.

You are mostly easy going and you like to socialize with other people. You are willingly held by others and will soon smile at them and participate in their games. You like animals and always want to pet the kitties and Abbey. You graciously put up with Abbey licking your face and are always interested in what she is up too. You can be quiet for long periods of time, but you do say your mamamas, and dadadas, and just today you were saying va va va. You also make your "yum yum" noises when you eat. You are a bit of a picky eater, but given a few tries, you will usually eat what I give you.  You love to snuggle up and touch my face with your fingers. You are a loving delight from your widows peak of dark hair to your toes that are always in your mouth. I love you more than words can express and am so thankful that I get to have you in my life.

Naim,

You are such a cutie patootie imp with a secret smile. Your smile is secret because you show it only to those closest to you. I'm so lucky to be one of those people because when you do smile, its BIG! Your little mouth just transforms into a huge amount of joy. Lately you've been very proud to show off your two little bottom teeth, with another one on the way. I always get the feeling that you've been here before, and this time you are going to study things a little harder and enjoy things a little more and have things your way a little bit more often. There is just a knowing about you. You are bright and understand things quickly, and you are only going to do what you are interested in. You have a bit of blond hair coming in, and sky blue eyes, but other than that, you probably look a bit more like my side of the family. You have a bit of a mischievous side, and there is always something ticking behind your eyes that you might not quite be ready to share. You watched your brother scoot around for weeks in confusion and frustration that you couldn't get to where you wanted to go yourself. Then just about a week ago, you just started to crawl a perfectly executed crawl. At first you tired easily, but within days, you were off. You think ahead and like to know where you are going first. You don't just haul off with no destination in mind. I see you spot your target and make your plan.

You also need some time to think about people. Mom is number one right now, but I don't think you want me to know that. But every once in a while, I get lucky enough to have a full fledged Naim hug, and you even try to give me gooey kisses sometimes. With others, you like to watch them from afar for a while before you'll let them get to know you. When you don't feel comfortable in a situation, you let us know. Today we took you to get your picture taken, and well, that photographer woman was just off her rocker, wasn't she? She was making funny noises and fiddling with some big machine while you were just supposed to sit there on a table. You were having none of that, and you made it perfectly clear with the most sorrowful pouty teary face ever. But then I would pick you up and you would immediately clam up and be perfectly content.

But when you are home, oh how you talk! You talk all the time! You like to hear yourself talk and watch yourself in the mirror as you do. Your first words were "ni ni ni" which I think is from hearing your name, Niam. Then once you were on your daddy's lap and you looked at me and said "ma ma ma" and I got tears in my eyes. You didn't know what you were saying, I know, but it was the first time I got even close to being called Mama. Since then, you haven't stopped talking. You like me to bounce you around, too, but you say "AAAAHHHH" and enjoy listening to the vibrato that occurs when you are being bounced.

And Naim, there was a time when you couldn't figure the whole eating thing out, but now, you eat and eat and eat. We can't interrupt you when you're eating. That is NOT ALLOWED. You open your mouth so big to get your cereal and fruits and vegetables, I think you are going to eat the spoon and my hand up to my elbow. You haven't declined any food that I have offered you yet.

We are currently having a battle over changing diapers. I want to get you changed and dressed, and you want to flip over and crawl off the changing table. You are not happy when I flip you back over, but we've negotiated and it seems to be working out that I change you first, and then let you flip over for a minute at the end.

Naim, you are a trip. I can't wait to hear what will come out of your mouth when your vocalizing starts turning into words. But I'm so happy with you right now, I hold you when you put your head on my chest smile, and I wish the moment would go on forever.

  I didn't get my double smiley twin picture that I wanted, but perhaps that was too much to ask? (I'm lucky to have gotten Naim at all!) Instead, I got a portrait in time of both my guys as they are; a wonderful time that will never come again.