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May 26, 2008



Glad you had a good week.
You know even though my husband may act like a second child sometimes I still have that extra support. Go ahead and be happy about that help.
Glad you got time to yourself to just do nothing if you wanted.


As you know, I think you are doing an excellent job raising your boys and you should not doubt how good a parent you are for one minute. But I am soooo glad you got the chance to relax a bit.


I'm glad you had a good week. I was thinking about checking up on you, as you hadn't posted in a while, but then I remembered I mostly lurk on your blog and you don't know me.

Administrative note: the font on this post is too small (and the characters spaced too closely together). In other words, it's really difficult to read. Could you make it slightly bigger? Am I the only one who doesn't really like the new Typepad?


remember that you also have chronic (kidney) illness and limited sensory access to your kids unless you are nearby enough to hear, see, touch them. that adds up to more fatigue than your average single mom has to deal with.

also, anyone who wants to increase the font size (or even the font) can do so on their own computer by changing the settings on their browser. the easiest way is to go to "view" and then "increase text size". this may be called something a little different in whatever browser you're using, but for example, on my mac, using firefox, alli have to do is press apple and the plus key. (apple and the minus key will decrease font size.) it's been a while since i had a PC, but i believe it was control-plus and control-minus.

more info:


Great post. You brought up a lot of the things I struggle with being a single mom to my kiddos. I work outside the home and actually love the kid break, but financially, it's a wash and I sometimes feel guilty about not spending more time with M&R.

If you figure out how to not lose your temper when you're tired, please tell me, because it's a real problem for me, too.

So glad you had some help and got to sleep in and do all of those delicious little things that make the tough stuff in life easier to handle.

Sheri Bheri

Yuh-HUH! Woman! I think that you have seriously underestimated how hard you've been working since the boys were born. Never mind anything else, you have TWIN(!) BOYS(!). Have you read other twin Mom blogs? They're exhausted too! And they don't have HALF the issues you have.

So yeah, you might have to give something up. Can you afford a cleaning service? That has TOTALLY saved MY marriage. Can you close the door to the playroom instead of picking up the toys? (Jeez LOUISE! I only have one, calm little girl and I don't pick up the toys every day.)

Other than that, I can only say that this is a short season in your life. They will be old enough (soon enough) to go to the bathroom by themselves, and to get themselves up to watch cartoons and make their own (easy) breakfast, while you sleep in. The funny thing is, you will MISS this time with them, when they were wee, and *needed* you so much.

This too shall pass.


not to in any way make you seem bad... but, well... you are GREAT. and are going to burn yourself out.

my mom did what you are doing... until i was 4, and my sister was 1, and she COULDN'T. then she had my other sister when i was six. then i spent my 8-9 year in the hospital. then my step-dad went into hear failure. and she went crazy.


baths, yes. toys? not always. breathe. you are awesome and wonderful and those boys know they have a great mother. its okay to not do everything perfectly.

i really have no clue if this will be a help or not. but i AM really glad you got a break :)


Two thoughts:

What do your kids have that other kids DON'T have because of how you are doing this. Your way is less championed in the media, so its benefits are less obvious, but your kids do have some benefits from your life that kids with two parents don't. (And I'd say 90%, not 3/4 of husbands don't pull their weight. There are pretty clear and consistent data about this.)


Is there any way you could start looking for a Kate and Allie type of arrangement? What about another mom in a similar boat as you--maybe one who works a 9-5 job 5 days a week and needs childcare? You could live together, be her childcare during the day, but she'd be your "partner" other times? I don't know where you'd start to look, but I could brainstorm with you, maybe.


shannon, above, is totally on to something. if you lived in ohio, i would even volunteer to help you fibd someone... and i bet i could :)

such a great idea!


It will get easier as the kids get older, it really will. I promise. I had the kids to myself last summer because of travel/work, and except for the sibling spats, it wasn't as difficult as the preschool years were *with* help.

You are a great mom, and it shows. What we've had to do with my hopefully temporarily increased level of disabilty is accept help. When people tell us, "Let us know if we can do anything," especially when they say it a few times, I add them to my list of people who are willing to help. And now we're calling on them, alternating among them, for various needs since my husband's really getting overtaxed. Giving someone something short to do, such as help with an errand or driving or cooking, every few weeks or once a month isn't too much for them but a huge, huge relief for us! And I've found that the people I've called on really are glad to help and have thanked me for asking. They really don't know what needs to be done until we're specific.

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