For A and (Plea?) Only for A

The rest of you may want to avert your eyes.

No, really...move along, there is nothing to see here.

I acquiesce to the fact that I have lost a bet. But really I couldn't lose, insomuch as the bet I lost was that if I did "The Thing I Really, Really Didn't Want to Do" (hereto forth known as The Thing)--it would not kill me. And I did The Thing, and I appear to still be alive. So, you win. And thus, I must pay up. Publicly...apparently.

So, in accordance to the binding contract of said wager, in Section 5: Paragraph 67, here we go:

uhm-mm.

Whereas my judgment as a 13 year-old was obviously very flawed; and

Whereas I have now been reintroduced ad nauseum to that damned band Duran Duran, a band I have not thought about in 20 odd years; and

Whereas now, because you have so brilliantly enlightened me and I have the advantage of my more mature and savvy judgment on such important matters;

I declare that I was GROSSLY misguided and mistaken in my former statement of record that Simon Le Bon was the hot one; and

I declare that I humbly submit to the lovely A's obviously superior taste and have Come To Jesus to the fact that, of course! John Taylor is the hot one.

In doing so, I must make appropriate reparations for my aforementioned sin of doubting the total lustfulness of said John Taylor. Henceforth, I shall do the following:

1.  Chant myself to sleep each night with the meditation, "Play that fucking bass, John. Play that fucking bass, John. Play that fu--" you get the idea.

2.  Replace my boring ole' standard issue Windows desktop wallpaper with this image:

3.  Set my hearing aids so that they only pick out the bass and filter out the trebling voice of Simon so that I can truly appreciate the genius that is the bass line of "Rio."

4.  Watch the following videos three times a day for the next six months:

• I Do What I Do (Even though it is the most hideous song on the planet, it was John Taylor's only solo hit-surprisingly-so I must respect its worthiness.)

• Some Like it Hot (And this one really hurts because in order to appreciate how good John looks in a hat, I have to sit through some woman orgasmically shaving her armpits and Robert Palmer air humping a statue of a bird while wearing a priest's collar.)

• This Eden Song or whatever it is (Which you insist is wonderful and I just don't get it and never will. )

5.  Lastly, in slightly all seriousness, I will continue to use "Ordinary World," which has become my cheesy summer anthem, as my rubber band around my wrist to snap when I get stuck in a forloop and need reminding to just get on with it. I would have never even listened to this song from a band I haven't thought about in 20 odd years if you hadn't of insisted on jamming them down my throat this ridiculous bet. And kept gently pressuring me to do The Thing that I Really, Really Didn't Want to Do. Thank you for that and for continuing to show up in my life every 5 to 10 years, thank you for helping me figure out how is the best way to remember S, and for showing me a great and inspiring example of how forgiveness is a verb that you have to actively decide to do, it doesn't just come along and fall into your lap by itself via osmosis. Many years ago on a Thursday no less, we had an awful day, and that is what it was, an awful day. We can still remember S while getting on with it. "Ours is just a little sorrowed talk" and you are one of the few people in the world who gets that. So, I'll love John Taylor for you any day. And he does look rather fine in this video, and I want that wacky wedding dress with the lampshade for a veil.

And now finally, to get back at you remember how far we've come, here you go you pseudo raver Duran Duran fanatic (???Contradict, much??? Head. Might. Explode.) I'll leave you with this beautiful memory and hope to see you in 5? years:

"Get the fuck away from me, assholes! I have a yeast infection!"
--The ever congenial Courtney Love
   Lawrence, Kansas, 1995

Comments

[A]

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Always, darlin'

[zoe]

gotta love the ever so eloquent courtney. i mean really who isn't bitchy when their crotch itches??

[Lisa]

Hey, I've always liked Courtney. I mean, I'm not oblivious to the fact that she's addicted to everything--not to mention certifiably bonkers, but how entertaining is that? And I don't care what anyone else says, (A) Live through this was an awesome album.