Throughout my life, I have been asked to speak and do workshops on "Disability Awareness." Many times, this occurs on "Disability Awareness Day" or during "Diversity Week". Or some such euphemism. I was just asked to do another one, and although I know nothing about this one yet and have no idea yet what framework the disability awareness will be a part of, it reminded me of my peeves about "Disability Awareness Days." Which, of course, compells me to blog. Nothing like a peeve or a rant to get me to blog.
A lot of times, disability awareness day, or hour, or class period is usually a part of a larger curriculum about 'diversity.' So, they have African-American Day, Hispanic Day, Asian-American Day, Gay Day, etc. I never understood this idiotic way of talking about diversity. So, we don't want to label people, separate them out as different, and talk about the specific and sometimes stereotypical things they do in their culture as if things such as Chinese New Year or Martin Luther King Day represent the whole race, right? So what we'll do is, we'll label people by clumping their whole culture into a separate topic and talk about specific and stereotypical things in their culture as if they represent the whole race and then we will be awarded our "awareness" certificate of achievement. Not to mention that probably what majority culture people need most is White Heterosexual Able-Bodied Self-Important Entitled Male Awareness Day, and they never have that one.
One thing I get annoyed at as a disabled person is those "etiquette tips for blind/deaf/disabled people" lists. Sure, some of them are just common sense, like "Don't pat a person who uses a wheelchair on the head." (Sad, but true that people actually need to be told not to do this.) But others are so individualistic and have to do with situations and preferences that I hate that people take these lists as the word of God. For example, one thing these lists say often is that when talking to a hearing impaired person who didn't catch what you said you should rephrase what you just said in a different way. This may work for some people, but I get really frustrated when people do that. I could have gotten the whole sentence except for two words. If you repeat the sentence again, all I have to do is try to pick up those two missed words. If you rephrase, I have to start from the beginning again. Another one is to describe visual things to blind people. This is another one that is problematic for me for two reasons. First, some people get so into it that their rambling on about every little detail that I don't need to know can drive me crazy. Second, sometimes hearing what they say is harder than just listening and figuring out by other context cues what it is that they are describing anyway. For example, don't describe the ocean tide for me, just shut up so I can listen to it myself. Its not that these people are pissing me off or anything, I know that they are trying. But I would rather they just ask me what I need or if I would like them to do this or that rather than just going by some list they were given in diversity training.
Everyone is different and it takes time to know how to assist someone with a disability. I'm positive that some of these etiquette tips work for some of the people some of the time. The problem is when these 'rules' are distributed at 'awareness' day events or whatever as the bible of how to interact with disabled people. I have asked individuals to change the way they are dealing with me in some way, and sometimes I have even been admonished, "But I learned in the disability awareness workshop that this is the way you are supposed to do it! It was in the brochure!"
Oh, okay. If it was in the brochure, by all means, please continue doing this thing that totally doesn't work for ME, the real live disabled person right in front of you. Sorry to have interrupted your show of your diversity prowess and awareness.
I do not expect anyone who I meet to know what I need instantly. I don't expect them to know the ins and outs of disability culture or how to accommodate me or whatever. I do expect them to be respectful enough to just get to know me and ask questions if they need to and be patient in the time it takes to figure out how we best work together. I can be really, really patient and understanding with someone who is really patient and understanding with me. It will come, if-like everyone else-I can be treated as an individual.
Another thing these workshops do, and this seems to be unique to the disability day stuff, is disability simulations. Have I gone off on these before? Where they have it set up for people to wear blindfolds, use wheelchairs, stuff their ears with cotton, wear blurry glasses, or whatever? So people can get an idea of how it feels to be disabled for ten minutes?
Why don't they just have people go about in black-face or tape up the folds of their eyes or go around kissing people of the same sex so they can know how it feels to be black, Asian, or gay, respectively? Disability simulations almost always turn out badly. I used to do them when I was young and not confident enough to be bitchy about things yet. Now I flat out refuse to take part. If I've been invited to be in a panel and they are doing disability simulations, I either tell them they have to change the whole agenda or I'm gone. (And I've done both.) Disability simulations breed fear and stereotypes of helplessness. Disabled people go through months and years of training and gain experience in finding ways to adapt with their disability. Slap a blindfold on someone and let them go crashing into walls and tripping on steps and what you have is someone who thinks blindness is horribly scary and that blind people are helpless. It would be like an Olympic high diver trying to tell you how diving feels by just getting you up on the ten meter platform and pushing you over the edge. Yeah, that's exactly what its like to do a beautiful dive, just like that there panicked and painful free-fall into a belly flop you just did.
The other thing that sometimes happens is that the disability simulation turns into a self-conscious, mocking joke-fest. Sure, there are mature people who can handle a disability simulation without falling into an insecure fit of giggles, but quite often that's what happens. Especially with children and young adults. I can't tell you how fun it is to be the blind person on a panel and watch some flippy college guys making fun of themselves as blind people while doing the Stevie Wonder and "Oops! not being able to help" mauling their female co-simulator's boobs. Now that's disability awareness at its most dignified.
(I do think that long-term, skills training based disability simulations are fine, though. For example, when OT/PTs are in training and practice transfers or wheelchair maneuvers. Or when teachers of the blind go through blindfold training to learn Braille and mobility. This is not awareness simulations, though. This is learning specific and relevant skills in their profession.)
Well, if these are the things I don't like about diversity awareness trainings, what would I do differently? Usually to replace the simulations, I've done a gadget/technology funfest. I literally run around my house and find all the disability related gadgets and technology I can find and then just show how they are used. Kids really like this. Especially when I have enough time to show them their name in sign language or write their name in Braille for them. There are a million low to high tech gadgets that help people do a million different tasks in different ways. I bring my signaling system and abacus and talking calculator and D's button hole fastener and talk about Dragon Naturally Speaking software and Braille labelers and whatnot. You can just see their minds opening up to the possibilities. They even start coming up with their own inventions sometimes.
But on the larger scale, what I'd really like to see in diversity training is less emphasis on categorizing and stereotyping people with their "Disability Day" and "Muslim Day" and what have you; and focus on teaching people how to comfortably approach and learn about individuals who are different than them for whatever reason.
One thing that you get a perspective on as a minority is that the mainstream view of you is just a one-dimensional stereotype. Even when the goal is "awareness." I remember reading special ed books in college about people with my disability and driving my professor nuts because I was constantly contradicting the book and saying, "well, that's not true in my case. Lots of other blind people do it differently." When you can see the inaccuracies in how the mainstream views you and people like you, you can transfer that to other people, minorities or otherwise.
I know that no matter how many workshops to raise my awareness of Hispanic culture, for example, I will never really know what it means to be Hispanic. Furthermore, I know that to be Hispanic means as many things as there are Hispanic people. I can't possibly know all the issues that face Cuban Americans vs. Peruvians vs. first generation Mexican immigrants vs. Mexican Americans that have been here since the 1600s. But I can understand ways to open myself to different people's stories and cultures when I have the opportunity to meet different people, and learn to feel comfortable making those opportunities happen myself. I can learn to be comfortable in knowing that I don't know about everyone's culture and how it affects them. And knowing that I just have to invest the time to get to know people on an individual basis if I want to learn.
We've all been on message boards or IRL conversations where, for example, someone's best friend is Chinese, and she says that all those Chinese kids are lucky to have gotten adopted out of China. So, since her best friend is Chinese...she must be the authority. And then someone else has three Chinese step-cousins. And they all say that Chinese kids should find Chinese families in China to adopt them. Oh, no! Which white person who's best friends with which Chinese people has the most Chinese street cred? Who's right in their all knowing Chinese knowledge? Or could it be...could it be...that the Chinese orphan problem is incredibly complex and different people--Chinese or not--are going to have different perspectives on it? Not to mention that the most important people's opinions are the Chinese adoptees themselves? And they are also going to have different opinions?
People in the majority culture want to have "an answer" to the "diversity thing." They want to lose the uncomfortableness they have around minorities by learning a magic set of 'rules' to go by when interacting with them. So, you go to diversity workshop day and learn that Chinese people celebrate Chinese New Year or some such. And then, what? Where does that get you? So now you go up to the first Chinese person on the street and say, "OH! You're Chinese! I know that you celebrate Chinese New Year!" Except that this particular person doesn't. And furthermore, he seems to kind of find you annoying. And now he doesn't fit into your rules you learned. And now its awkward. Diversity Day didn't help too much there, did it?
People come up to me and ask me all the time about some blind person they know and what should they do in this situation? They don't want to offend the blind person. And I know people are well-meaning. But also, I feel uncomfortable answering because, how should I know? I don't know that person or what they think or want. I usually give my pat answer, "Well, just ask them. Disabled people get asked everything all the time, so they are probably used to it and they would probably rather have you ask them an awkward question than to shun them and not try." But, even though I think that is the best answer I can give, it probably is the wrong answer for some people. Some people probably just want to be left alone from curious strangers. I am not the representative for all Deaf, Deaf/blind, blind or disabled people.
Tangent alert:
(This reminds me of a funny story. Along time ago, I went to a city council meeting in Nebraska to make a statement in regards to the public transportation system. There was a ton of blind people there. This one woman who was blind and who was rather inarticulate and annoying, and also had mysterious red stains all over her shirt that day, just happened to be the first blind person to testify. The first thing she said was, "Hi, my name is XXXX XXXX and I represent all the blind citizens of Nebraska." And--this was the funny part--we were all lined up to take our turn to speak against this wall and there was this collective, simultaneous groan as we were all totally taken aback and cringing that she said that.)
/tangent
D was always so frustrated with his brother and sister-in-law because they would be uncomfortable with some of the different privacy/independence culture-y things that he has to live by as a quadriplegic and they wouldn't ever really accept that its different to live with 32 million people coming in and handling your body on a daily basis than it is to be able-bodied and have a lot more control over your privacy. They never seems to want to accept differences in cultures, like their ways are the right ways and everything else diverges from that norm for them. Then they would blame him when misunderstandings happened like he is the one with the hang-ups. He was complaining about it one day several years ago, and I just said to him, "It is not your responsibility to make them comfortable with how you live. That's not your job. I mean, you can try to help them out if they are willing to meet you half way, but they really put it all on you to make them feel comfortable with you. And there is no way you can do that. You can't PASS in their world. They need to do at least some of the work to meet you in yours." Since then, he repeats that phrase all the time now. It's NOT MY JOB to make so-and-so comfortable with me.
And I think that is the problem across the board with diversity awareness stuff. People of the majority culture don't understand their own culture, they just think it is the norm. Recently, I was in a church activity where we were supposed to turn around to our neighbor and give a one minute spiel about our cultural heritage. And the woman next to me said, "Well, I don't know. I don't have a culture. My family was just normal. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say."
I don't have a culture. My family was just normal.
That is the entitled attitude that has folks coming into diversity training expecting to be filled up with a list of etiquette rules and information about X culture so that they will be "culturally competent" when having to interact (or god-forbid TOLERATE--I hate that term in this context) people that are different from them. The expectation is that the burden is on the minority panel member to bridge the gap and fill them up with the information they deem necessary to get rid of that uncomfortable feeling that they have when they deal with people who are not 'normal'. The attitude is something like, "Okay, I am willing to accept that you are not normal and to tolerate you and learn about your differences. Tell me the rules. Tell me about your weird food and sayings and traditions and religions. You've got one hour. At the end of that hour, your time is up and you need to have made me comfortable with your differences by then so you can stop your bitchin' about your diversity."
What I would do differently, instead of doing the Minority Stereotype Parade during diversity week, is to put the burden of reaching out to diverse populations back on the shoulders of the 'White folk.' Instead of categorical minority days--black day, gay day, gimp day--I would look at ways to reach out to different people by life activity.
For example, I might have a day on employment, on housing, on information dissemination. Obviously these categories would vary greatly depending on the audience. For school children, I would perhaps talk about lunch time, class work, recess, neighborhood playtime, sports, holidays, etc. For a church group, I might talk about sermons and services, religious education, social gatherings, committees. For a business I might talk about employment, sales, advertising, product development, etc.
So, for an information dissemination topic, the discussion would surround how you--the people in the audience--who want to know about diversity, would make sure everyone in your business/school/church has access to information they can understand. The issues that affect blind and deaf people are not so different from the issues that affect people who don't read or speak English or who are illiterate or who need more cues to understand the nuances of dealing with an event in a different culture. If you are having an event, what are all the ways you could get information about that event to as many different kinds of people as possible? Signs in multiple languages. Audio/spoken announcements. Pictures to go along with the signs. Placing announcements in publications specifically for blind folks or in Jewish publications or whatever. How many different ways that include as many people with different needs as possible can we get this information out?
And then when the event happens. How do we make sure everyone feels comfortable no matter where they come from or who they are? Who do we know that is bilingual? Who can be available to answer questions instead of just putting up signs. How can we make our building easy to get into and get around in for people in wheelchairs as well as people with small children or people who will be carrying a lot of food or supplies? How can we make sure that the event is sensitive to the cultural norms of a variety of people?
Next topic: Traditions. What do we celebrate? Do we have a Christmas office party or do we never mention the word? Do we recognize Ramadan even though (we don't think) anyone here is Muslim? Is that appropriating? How can we make everyone feel comfortable and included with traditions? What if we got input from everyone about what they would like to celebrate? What if we invited people to organize something if they chose to? How do we learn about the different traditions that people value in our community?
Okay. Get where I'm trying to go with this? I think the main thing that needs to be done with diversity awareness days is to make people comfortable in the not knowing and not having specific rules and guidelines for each and every sector of minority group and instead teach them to reach out to people who are different than they are with the intention of getting to know that person as an individual. One way to do that is to learn how to be welcoming to everyone by taking the responsibility to cast a wide net. And then understanding that the diverse ways you may be interacting with people aren't because you learned about how their group, you know the one with the brown skin or the one with the chair with the wheels on it, is so much different than you, the norm, but that we are all diverse and we all have a responsibility to try to meet each individual where they are and as who they are.
I have no idea yet what my contribution will be to this latest request to help out on Disability Awareness Day. But I always try to at least leave the joint with a couple of things to think about that they weren't thinking about before they met me. And there will be no blindfolds to be had within the tri-county area.
Very good post. I am ashamed to admit that when I was about 8 years old I did a project on blindness and I did the whole blidnfold game.
I was one of about 4 Jewish people in my high school and I got tired of having to be a representative for my religon whenever my school did some kind of diversity fair.
A few years later I was having a conversation with some classmates and a professor about being a asked to represent your minority and we joked that when people start asking you questions assuming you know about "all the jews" or "all black people" or "all lesbians" it's like they assume every Jew or Lesbian or whatever convenes in some underground lair once a year to reach a group consensus.
Posted by: Jess | August 10, 2007 at 06:27 AM
Jess,
Well, as a representative member who has just returned from the underground lair of the blind, we decided to forgive you for your blindfold activity since you were only eight. : )
Posted by: Lisa | August 10, 2007 at 09:58 AM
I really like your idea about topics instead of people-groups.
This post reminds me of something that happened in an airport the other day. Nat started in flirting with a teenaged boy in a wheelchair, who seemed to have CP. Cole was concerned because Nat started to copy his facial expressions. But that's what Nat is into these days--mimicking--and it means she wants to make friends. I told Cole that the dude was probably used to kids staring or doing something similar all the time, since that was his life, and he could probably handle it and not mind since Nat is obviously a tiny child with zero social graces and also obviously liked him and wanted to connect (plus she's super cute). Cole was all "oh, I never thought of it like that!"
The disabled woman who lives in our building can't open her hands all the way. She and Nat have developed this thumb-based high-five, due to Nat copying her gestures. It's sweet, actually.
All this is just to say that you are so right, there aren't rules. I don't like those lists either (as pertains to gay families or adoptive families or interracial families etc.). I think they scare people from asking real questions and even if you put your foot in your mouth, how are you supposed to learn if you don't ask questions? I'd rather be asked any day.
And if my neighbor didn't like Nat copying her hand gestures, I'd expect her to say so, since how else would I know? (But she loves it, actually!)
Posted by: Shannon | August 17, 2007 at 09:43 PM
I stopped in by way of Snickollet, and I just wanted to say I really liked this post. My husband - has CP - has had people do the wheelchair activity in the past, but he did it for administration at his college campus, to give them an idea of just how inaccessible the campus actually was. But I hadn't considered the idea that it could instill a fear of helplessness at the same time on the part of "normals" - true enough.
Thanks for a thought-provoking post.
Posted by: Lori | August 19, 2007 at 01:31 PM