In the Still of the Night*

I've felt kind of crappy this week and have not slept well. It is what me and D jokingly refer to as "a general feeling of malaise." Nondescript symptoms of nothing. But it kind of caught up with me and I had a Bad Parenting Moment.

I think I was just overtired and losing patience. Aaron was lying on the floor and he accidentally on purposely chucked his shoe-ed foot into my face, giving me a big fat lip. What followed was not funny then, but kind of funny now. I just lost my temper and shouted, "Don't Fucking Kick Your Mother!" and walked off. Really, I've been really good about the swearing lately. Honest. I don't think I've used the F word in front of them for months. So, then of course, to rub in my mistake, Naim goes up to Aaron and yells, "Don fukin kick da mama!" in Naim accent. Then, Aaron gets the quivering lip and the alligator tears and cried in sad, pathetic little sobs, "Aaron fuckin kick mama." Yeah, it was a real Dr. Sears moment.

I think we made up today. I went to bed at around 10, got up around 10:45 with insomnia, went back to bed around 3, and then they let me sleep till almost 10:30! So that really helped a lot. They woke up before that, but they played quietly in their beds until I got up. So I think we all felt better today and were nicer to each other.

We took a trip today in our new Kid Utility Vehicle that fabulous Shannon found for me for $107, marked down from $169. It is basically a double stroller that I can drive from the front, which enables me to have a hand free for a white cane (or future guide dog) and keeps the kids safely behind me. It is bigger than I expected and hard to U-turn with, but I think it will help in a lot of situations. I will try to get D to take pictures of us in action with it. But if you are a blind parent, you might want to check it out.

We ran up to the store with it so I could buy ingredients for an Indian vegetarian Kerala thingy I'm making for a pot luck tomorrow. I had to ask for help when it came to ingredients like cardamoms. I can follow a recipe, but I am in no way a gourmet cook. I told D that if it turns out awful that we were going to have to stop off at Swaggath's and buy a dish to take.

My to do list for the summer is absolutely cracking me up. It is so suburban domestic stay at home mom. I would have never believed five years ago that I would be spending my time doing stuff like this. Along with going to potlucks, I'm organizing a neighborhood garage sale, throwing a kid party at the end of the month, and going to church committee meetings. Aren't I quaint?

It is kind of nice to have business like this, though. Its just normal stuff, nothing life or death. No running to hospitals or what have you. I get a bit nervous in calm times like this like the other shoe is about to drop. But I guess I just need to chill.

Well, I have more topics in my head, but I am still feeling really exhausted this week and need to catch up on sleep. So, more surely long and winding posts to come.

*current song in my head(mp3). I got the Stevie Nicks Crystal Visions CD/DVD and it has a really rare version of this song on it. Fits my mood on these insomniacal nights.

Comments

[shannon]

Cole and I laughed 'til we cried reading about the kicking incident.

[snickollet]

I also laughed aloud about the kicking incident, although I'm sure at the time "funny" was not the word on your mind.

The Kid Utility Vehicle looks cool. Hope it's useful for you. Also hope that the insomnia wanes and you are able to catch up on some sleep.

[Emmie (Better Make It A Double)]

I find that getting hit or kicked by my kids gets me more furious faster than almost any other kind of behavior, which it to say, that SO could have been me. Bad Parenting Moment - love that term. How many can we have per day? Can I have chocolate if I don't have any? Liquor? Or is the liquor just for if we've had too many?
Funny, too about the "Kid Utility Vehicle" - we call our double jogger a "twin utility vehicle" (or, "the TUV") I hope the malaise passes soon, or that Aaron learns to keep his fucking feet to himself.