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May 01, 2007



I had to laugh about losing a kid. It brought back memories of losing my youngest kiddo in the middle of a McDonald's playland. The manager cleared out the entired playland and a neighbor found my son on the other side of the restaurant. This same neighbor once returned the very same kid after he wandered outside of our house when Grandma was watching him.
Enjoyed your post!

Imperfect Christian

On one hand, I want to tell you how inspirational and amazing your story was to read! I want to tell you how awed I am and how much I admire you and D and your family.

But on the other hand, you're just a normal, typical family....that's all any of us are. We just have differences, but what family doesn't?


Wow, thanks for the perspective! I completely get your point about the intrinsic versus the external issues. We face similar ones with our multiply disabled son. People tell us how amazed they are at what we do to take care of him. To us, it's basic parenting. The hard stuff is navigating the rest of the world which can be so frustrating.


This was a lovely post (came by from the Goldfish bowl). Thank you so much for writing and sharing it--given your experiences, it must have felt very risky.

I'm sorry you have to deal with the ignorance of other people.


I loved reading about how the boys are learning what works as far as how to get your attention, climb into D's lap, etc. My dad is a C-6 quad and as toddlers we always held our arms down to our sides if we wanted our dad to pick us up so he could hook his hands under our armpits. It puzzled other adults when they would ask us if we wanted to be picked up and we held our arms down. And the foster kids we had through the years adapted to the system pretty quickly as well. I think that kids who have a parent with a disability just learn very early on that there is no "right" way of doing things. That everyone, even the people in the family without a disability, has their own way of handling those day to day tasks. It's amazing, really, and quite hopeful. The best evidence I have that disabilism is totally learned and therefore can be unlearned.


I am legally blind also and I am very lucky when it comes too the playground. The other moms who are at the playground help me watch my son, so I can have a little break and sit down. The kids who come to the park regularly have also been very helpful to me. Usually people seem to feel the same about me having a child as a blind individual. It is just a huge relief when I have support from the people around me.


It's a real worry, that moment when your kids (or nephew, in my case) suddenly begin to realize that you are different & people are noticing. It's a hard situation to deal with, but I know you'll all manage as well as you can. Hopefully, as you said, some day, it won't be necessary.


Kids can definately adapt. When my daughter was 2, she would speak to "white" people in English and "mexican" people in spanish. People usually don't believe me, but she never asked me which language to speak to others, she just figured it out, even if nobody else had spoken yet. Kids definately just live in the world they are given and I wish it would carry on throught adulthood.


Not to mention, you have TWINS for goshsakes! That's an entirely different ballgame from keeping tabs on singletons--- for any parent.

Additionally,I have a relevant comparison to something in my own life, but sadly I am unnerved by the idea of sharing so I think I'll email.


This should be required reading for every nurse, social worker, teacher and temporarily abled parent....

Thanks for writing this.

Attila the Mom

Thanks so much for writing this! Friends of ours (who are both disabled) have had social services crawling up their behinds for years, despite the fact there have never been any reports of abuse or neglect.

I can't imagine the stress they must be under day after day---knowing that SS is just waiting to swoop in if they screw up. Grrrr!


I have lost my kids a few times because they are wanderers and both have autism. I am not disabled (so not a disabled parent) but I also fear that one of these days, when the younger one runs off again or wanders down the street, and a neighbor brings him back, that they will call the CYS in addition to giving me the hairy eyeball. I know they think I am nuts, but the heck with them.
I think I would get totally irish on people if they treated me the way you've been treated. You handle it with such grace. It irks me that people are so stupid.


As always an amazing post. I’d really like to express my feelings on this more so I’m thinking of e-mailing. Hey, I’ve been reading your blog for over a year I should probably introduce myself.


Thank you so much for writing this. I am a twentysomething disabled woman and for many years I have wanted to have a family "when I'm ready". You would not believe (or maybe you would) the trouble I have getting across to all sorts of people that "when I'm ready" to me means "when I'm living with my partner, have a reasonably stable home and income, and we both feel confident it's time to take the plunge" - and NOT "if I somehow no longer have my impairment".


Able-bodied (for now) parent here with only one, not-particularly wander-y child and YES I have lost her on the playground. You only have to take your "eyes" (or other attention) off a toddler for a split second and they can disappear. In my case, she was within ten feet, but behind a big trash can. It took me a couple of panicked minutes to find her.

I have to say, Lisa, you are the one blogger that, if I could wave a magic wand and make us next-door neighbors, I would. Because of all you could do for my family. Reciprocate? Ha. I'd hope I could keep up my end of things.


You are a wonderful writer. Thank you for the view into your life.




I just wanted to say great post. As a blind parent of 2, 6 year old boy and 2 year girl I can relate to most of this post. I can't remember how I found your blog, but I enjoy it a lot.


What parent of a mobile child HASN'T lost track of them for 3 minutes at some point? Hell, I lost my 40 pound dog once in a 600 square foot apartment for over 10 minutes because she'd gone to take a nap in the closet and it never occurred to me to look in there!

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