Pandora's Box (Part 1)

When I found out I was having twins, I found that working/daycare had gone from a tough but surmountable problem to a seemingly impossible problem. I came upon a dream solution (I dreamed). There was a Montessori school that took kids from 18 months to 12th grade. And if you think Montessori preschool is cool, elementary through high school is pretty darn innovative as well. Also if you are familiar with Montessori, you know that schools often don't like to take "newbie" older kids. They like their students to be Montessori-ized from the womb. So, if I could get my kids in at 18 months, I could practically guarantee that they could attend this school as long as they wanted.

The only way this would be possible would be through scholarship. This school offered four tuition scholarships per classroom. It was not based on student performance, rather it was based on getting some unrepresented minority kids in the kinda white-y, rich-y school. You had to meet certain income and minority status guides. So, I applied when the kids were born. I met the income requirements and did some fancy essaying to convince them that we also met the minority requirement via class, single momhood, and disability. They went for it.

Well, they half-went for it. They said they would only accept one of my kids on scholarship. They didn't care which, but they didn't like the idea of two of their four minority slots belonging to two little white boys. I understood this to an extent, but who was I going to pick for the cool educational opportunity and who would go to regular daycare and where would he go? How would I get the kids to two different daycares anyway? The other issue was, I could put the other kid on the waiting list, but he (actually both kids) had to be between 18-21 months at the time there was an opening. What were the chances of that? They told me that there was not much chance. Sometimes having twins is problematic like this. After looking at several other daycare options, as we all know I ended up becoming a reluctant SAHM. But I ended up thinking that was a really good choice for us.

But I really liked this school. It wasn't so much the Toddler/Preschool programs, which were really good, it was the elementary and secondary programs I was lusting after. It started making public school look kind of like a big waste of time. And also, I found out that my kids were going to go to a public elementary school that I couldn't even get to. Not by bus, anyway. It was way out of the way from anything, even though we have a school right down the street that we can't go to because we live two inches on the other side of the boundary. The kids would be bussed to the far away school, but if they were ever sick or if they just had a school play or something, It would be really hard for me to hustle up a ride or call a cab to get there. I just thought this was ridiculous.

So, all of this was far off and distant to think about when my kids were still infants and not sleeping through the night. It wasn't a big concern or anything, but it was something I thought about in the back of my mind. The preschool racket seemed pricey, inconvenient, impossible to get into some with long waiting lists, ridiculously competitive, and perhaps unnecessary. I mean, I never went to preschool. (I'm not saying it is bad for any and all kids to go, Okay? I'm just explaining some of my thought processes, here.) And then they would have to go to a school that I couldn't get to, and I wasn't too excited about anyway after being spoiled by the beautiful, wonderful innovative Montessori school.

So at some point when the kids were just babies, my dad and the kids and I were at the library, and without even looking for it, I came across a book on homeschooling and was flipping through it. My dad saw it and pitched a shit fit. "Kids need to go to school!" He thundered with authority. "I worry about these kids with you!" He declared. I really had no opinion of homeschooling myself at the time. It wasn't (and still isn't) something I've necessarily decided to do, I just was curious and wanted more information. But lots of people seemed to go berserk about the mere mention of it.  Most of whom had so many misconceptions about it and had never studied it that it is almost useless to discuss it with them. So since then, I have not mentioned homeschooling to anyone except D and a few of you people who live in the computer.

But in private, I have spent a large part of the last two years studying the topic. I've read tons of books. Everything from The Well Trained Mind to John Holt's Unschooling stuff to Alfie Kohn's stuff about being Punished by Rewards and lots of books about homeschooling on a shoestring to different methods of educational philosophy. I've read Gatto's Dumbing Us Down and Jonathan Kozol's work on the Savage Inequalities of compulsory education. I've read some of the old classics like the Benjamin Franklin autobiography and works about Thomas Jefferson's and Abe Lincoln's education. (For almost everyone in the world was homeschooled before the late 1800s.) I've researched how homeschoolers do on achievement tests and SAT tests and how they get into college. I've researched how well they do socially and on adaptive behavior scales. I've looked extensively at tons of different curriculum such as Calvert, Oak Meadow, Charlotte Mason, K12, Nebel's Elementary Education, and Connections Academy. I've even looked at some of the Christian curriculum like Rod and Staff or Bob Jones. I've read a ton of homeschooling blogs and message boards. I've talked to homeschoolers in my community. I joined our local homeschooling mailing list and also the national group of Unitarian Universalist Homeschoolers. I've also read a lot of the criticisms from the NEA and other sources. I've spent a ton of time investigating this topic and have learned an incredible amount. So much that if you'd let me, I'd write a book right here and now about it.

I've also experienced the wackjobs on all sides of this issue. I will say that most homeschoolers and public schoolers are just normal people making the best decisions they can for their kids. But there are the extremists. There are the ones who think homeschooling is child abuse. The ones who think that in order to be a true American one must support public schools at all costs, and the only way to do that is to enroll your kids in them and follow them blindly. On the other side are the public school haters. They think their kid will crumble and die uneducated, impoverished and morally bankrupt should they ever set their pinky toe on public school grounds. There are the religious zealots who think that public school undermines God by teaching evolution. Those who are radical unschoolers that think if you ever even suggest a structured educational activity for your kid then you are controlling them. Etc. Like everything in life, there are purists and extremists. But homeschoolers, I've found, are not made up of these people, the extremists are on the fringes of just normal, nice, common sense everyday people that make up the majority of homeschooling families.

Most people are middle ground. Most homeschoolers utilize public school methods and activities from time to time. And most public school families homeschool to some extent as well. I don't think that supporting homeschool and supporting public education are mutually exclusive. I think it is possible to do both. Having been in the trenches of public schools (or at least visited often) in my career for over 15 years has lead me to (some of) the following conclusions:

1. All children have the right to a free, appropriate (for each child) public education.
2. Public schools have some major, major problems that are foundational and cannot be fixed by band-aid programs like No Child Left Behind, Title 1, etc.
3. Money is needed but will not fix the problems in and of itself. But taking away money will cause bigger problems.
4. The quality of public school programs is very patchy. It varies tremendously by district and even by classroom. Segregation and inequalities by gender, race, class, and disability is alive and flourishing in the public schools. It is pretty much a reflection of real life. Getting a public education does not put a minority on an equal playing field as the majority culture, for they still have to deal with prejudices both in and beyond school. My point? Public education is a necessary ingredient  needed to acheive equality, but it is not the "Great Equilizer."
5. A great deal of special education is not as much about the students limitations but about public schools' failure to find ways of educating a diverse body of students. The larger class size gets and the less funding available for regular ed, the more kids will be labeled as disabled. Most of these labels will be learning disabilities and behavior disorders.
6. Many kids do fine in public schools, many kids do not. Many times, the kids that do well are doing well most significantly because of the supplemental (home)schooling and support they are getting at home and/or they just happen to fit into the mastery learning mode that public school caters too. Many times, the kids who are doing poorly are not working up to their potential because the school is not meeting their individual needs and there is no support at home.
7. There are great teachers out there who cannot work at their potential due to the conditions they work in. There are great teachers out there who do great things despite the conditions they work in. There are also a few lousy teachers.
8. Standardized testing is almost entirely a political scam. It is a ridiculous waste of money and does nothing to improve accountability. In many cases, it makes things worse.
9. Essentially, to varying degrees depending on districts and classrooms, schools are set up as mass production assembly lines to get as many kids work-ready as possible. The idea is not really to get every kid to meet his or her potential. It is to get as many kids to the middle of the bell curve as possible so that one size fits all and costs and effort can be cut.
10. The one thing that I see that would have a tremendous impact would be to lower the class sized to no more than a 10:1 ratio. All kids (not just special ed kids) need an individualized education.

So, I support public education. I have spent years of my life devoted to it. I don't necessarily think that homeschooling kids means that we don't need public schools and don't need to worry about making them better. Not all people can homeschool or private school and all kids have a right to an education. I want my kids to have access to a public school. However, I don't think that my kids need to go to one in order to show my support for them in the same way that I don't need to be a prisoner to support prison reform. Nor do I need to be gay to support gay marriage. In addition, the innovative stuff that is coming out of homeschools and private schools can only add to the research data we have about what is best for kids and some of those methods will pour over into public schools. Homeschoolers may be able to do more for public education in the long run than they could had they just sat in a few PTA meetings.  There is currently a really interesting discussion going on on my UU homeschoolers mailing list about public school improvement. Many folks have some really interesting ideas. Such as having public schools be wrapped in with libraries and parks and rec and other community centers. And/or having them be somewhat like college campuses where kids and their parents can pick and choose different classes suitable for each child based on ability, interest and talent. These would be multi-age groupings so kids could better get the right level of instruction for them instead of being moved through with all the other 8 year-olds regardless of talent, skill or need. Interesting stuff.

One of the main criticisms of homeschooling is that it is unregulated and thus the quality cannot be controlled. The knee-jerk is to say that the quality is obviously not controlled in public school either. We all know there are good schools and not so good schools. Good teachers and not so good ones. Homeschooling is obviously not for everyone. Some parents would rather gouge their eyes out than be in charge of whether little Jack learns his multiplication tables. This is why the natural occurring phenomenon where humans like to actually like and be good at what they do works so well. People who homeschool tend to be motivated to do it and are good at it. People often don't pursue what they aren't succeeding at for very long. So I think there is a built in safety there. But the fear is that somewhere, someone is going to use homeschooling as a guise to lock their children up in an attic and beat them senseless, whereas mandatory school attendance could account for some of that. This is remotely possible, I suppose, which is why I do not mind the public schools having some sort of accountability requirement for homeschoolers. Some libertarian types are opposed to this, but if it can save one kid from being abused in an attic, then I can drag my kids to the school district once a year or whatever the requirement may be. In most states, the requirements for homeschoolers are not terribly hard to deal with.

In all my research, I have concluded that homeschooling is a completely legitimate and effective way to get an education. It has the creative capacity to take a child far beyond what a public school can provide. Many of the lay-criticisms are based on myths. (I'll do a part two on misconceptions about homeschooling). Many of the true criticisms are in regards to things that don't directly affect my family. (i.e. kid in attic.) Deciding to homeschool is a completely individual decision that affects each family differently. Factors such as income, support, geographic location, parental and kid motivation all come into play.

So is homeschooling right for my family? I don't know yet. I will be looking at several factors in the coming years before I make a decision about Kindergarten. And then even after whatever decision I make about Kindergarten, I will keep evaluating as we go along to see what is the best option for each of my kids and myself. This toddler/preschool time is a trial period to sort of try on the lifestyle. Things such as income, D's ability to contribute his time and energy to homeschooling, my desire for a more substantial career, whether my kids and I can stand to put up with each other enough, transportation, community opportunities and the like will all come into play. They will most likely be attending a homeschool co-op based preschool at least one or two days a week starting next year, and they will also probably start some of the preschool Montessori curriculum next year with possibly a bit of Calvert's pre-K thrown in. And of course, as much "unschooling" or organic learning experiences as we can find.  When they are closer to Kindergarten age, I will probably assess the public school situation more closely. I will visit the schools, see if the district is willing to send them to the school down the street, get a feel for classrooms and teachers, etc. I really have nothing against my school district. It is not the best in the metro area, but it is not the worst, either. It has received national attention for cutting school days under the federal minimum guidelines, which is unfortunate for a lot of families who have to use public schools as daycare (as would I if I went back to a full-time job.) So, I have mixed feelings about it, but also know a lot of kids who attend and they are doing well and I'll try to have an open mind about it when the time comes.

Since all studies of academics show that homeschoolers blow public school kids out of the water, there is the "yeah, but..." about homeschooling kids being from affluent families skew the results. (But they've also compared homeschoolers to affluent public schoolers, and although not as dramatic, they still achieve higher on test scores--for whatever that's worth.) In my case, although I have an "affluent" education, I am working class and a disabled minority and single mom. I am forced to make a choices between not so great daycare, not so great schools, and not so great stability all the time. I cannot afford a lot of fancy tutors or private school. I will probably not be able to afford to send my kids anywhere but in-state universities unless they find scholarships or other opportunities. Homeschooling, if we decide it is right for us, may be one really special and unique thing I can give my kids that will last them a lifetime. 

Comments

[shannon]

Your kids couldn't be luckier than to be getting the majority of their education from you.

But I am biased!

I wish we had better local groups here. Bigger cities have better home school options. I am going to join a Chicago area progressive homeschool group next fall and start making (6-hour round) day-trips with Nat every week or two to the city.

[That Girl]

I wish you all the luck in the world.
I would also like to tell you that, as a huge proponent of homeschooling the landscape has changed mightily in the past 10 years.
The stigma of homeschooling really has a legitimate basis - when my first son was born (15 years ago) homeschooling was a "fringe" idea and 1000% less popular than it is now. I found myself in seminars with a very VERY small group of people I could relate to, sandwiched between the three main groups - the militants, the religious extremeists, and the "hippies". I felt very much an outsider, as I was someone who shared a lot of their educational goals but not their reasons or their extremeism. The homeschooling idea eventually caught on in the mainstream but there really were legitimate reasons to view homeschoolers with bias in the beginning.
A caveat - as with anything in real life, people are nice and helpful to people who they perhaps demonize in idealogy. I never felt ostracized by any of the groups although I shared little of their personal beliefs, if fact I was welcomed (despite that).

[Gretchen]

Good Luck, and bummer about the Montessori school.

You know that self sorting thing you mentioned? Well I fall in the can't homeschool a)I suspect I wouldn't be very good at it, and b) we both work. I would, however, love to send T to Montessori, but the closest one I know if is a 2 hr round trip. I'm afraid I don't want to send her to it quite that bad!

[M-j]

There are tons of montessori schools here (some are the fake type, called montessori but loosely based) and also many home-school groups. I have friends that say they home school but are soooo unorganized their kids end up playing all day, going to playdates and sports practice and getting one lesson in a week. Not what I consider home school. Then I have friends that are totally committed to it, belong to homeschool groups, have social groups they attend,etc. They are constantly turning experiences into lessons for their children. That is successful homeschooling.
As a teacher, I can see both sides of the fence. I wanted to homeschool my kids,but due to disabilities (Autism and PDD) I felt I wasn't qualified, even though I was a special ed teacher. I feel like I am not objective enough. For some reason, I do daycare and tutor and have a great rapport with those kids but feel like I cannot teach my own. Ironic isn't it? My friends even gave me homeschool curriculum for kids with special needs. I still didn't want to do it. I needed a break from my kids and I felt there was a better chance for them in one of the local programs.
They are doing great, I do not regret it. But sometimes I still wish I was doing it, I am a SAHM. Whatever you decide, it will be the right decision.

[Keri]

That's awesome you are considering homeschooling the twins. You are a teacher so you will be the best teacher for your boys. Don't forget that one plus on homeschooling them is ensuring that they will be fluent in ASL being that they will be communicating with you 24/7 (well, almost).

I plan on homeschooling my son Lochlan since he's home with me all day and it will ensure that he becomes completely fluent in ASL. More likely I will be following the Unschooling method mainly because the philosophy is that the child leads his learning. I rather have Lochlan be pumped about learning new stuff than forcing him to sit down and learn specific things. At this time, Lochlan is only 18 months old so I have quite a bit of time before I make some decisions, especially since Kindergarten isn't required in Vermont. A neighbor up the hill plans to homeschool her kids (her youngest is ten days younger than Lochlan) so we will be getting together occasionally. If you do decide to homeschool, it would be great to network together with other Deaf parents who homeschool. =)

[Meredith]

Wow, I'm in awe of the amount of thought and research you've put into this subject - though it's just at par with any other subject you've written about! (BTW, you've mentioned trying to cut down on the length of your entries - please don't, I love you how explore things in depth.)

After I read this I really tried to think through what it is that bothers me about homeschooling, since I've never put my finger on it, and it's this: the larger social implications. Why is it exactly that homeschooling has become much more common and more mainstream in recent years? And what will that mean for our society, and especially gender equality, as time passes? Because let's face it, women are the ones doing the lion's share of this work, just as with stay-at-home parenting, and both take them out of the work world for years. I see so many of my friends doing or considering homeschooling or staying at home with young children (god knows I'm tempted too), women who are committed feminists and liberal-minded thinkers, and I wonder what it means for their voices to be absent from the work world. Yes, they are all doing their part to effect political change in other arenas, and they are bringing up their children as thoughtfully as they can, which is the most important contribution to the world in my mind, but the work world is nevertheless becoming more male-dominated, not less.

Of course, once you have a child, every choice is seen through the lens of their needs and wellbeing, and philosophical commitments are hard to maintain in real life if doing so runs contrary to your child's needs. I know that every family makes the decision to homeschool, or to have a mom at home, because of their own needs and circumstances; but our "choices" are constrained by the options available, and let's face it, our options suck in America right now, and don't seem to be getting better. You have spoken eloquently about this - witness your entry on FMLA. And not only is maternity leave a joke, but the workaholic tendencies of this country are only getting worse, making part-time work less viable, so suddenly thousands of people are revisiting their thinking about staying at home - mostly women. Public schools have gotten to be places that a lot of parents aren't comfortable sending their children, yet little is done to improve this besides increasing testing (!), with the expectation that individual women pick up the slack if they feel they need to. And nobody can be faulted for their individual decisions, but the sum of all of them is to return women to the home... hmmm, funny how that works.

Sorry to be so longwinded... I don't know what the answer is to all of this (other than going to the polls), and I don't want to make anyone feel they need to justify their decisions or their commitment to feminism or public schooling or any other cause. But I would be interested in your thoughts on this in your sequel!