I know every parent says this, but I cannot believe that I now have two two year olds. Two years ago today, I gave birth to two 5-ish pound 35 weekers who didn't know how to suck and who rapidly sunk to 4 pounds by the time I brought them home. I was for sure I was going to kill 'em any second. And if not them, myself. Now they are around 27 pounds each and are about 2'9" tall and can do so many things and say so many words that I can't keep track anymore. The reason parents have birthday parties for kids this young who don't even know it is their birthday is to celebrate getting through it. It is a celebration for the parents who then make a special day for their children if for anything just to thank them for entering our lives and putting up with us.
We did have a very good day today. D and I took the kids to the Children's Museum. They are really getting to be able to do most of the activities there. We always start off in the "Baby Garden" to get them acclimated. This usually takes around a half an hour, especially for Naim to get comfortable. Today, they both headed straight there on their own and started playing right away instead of doing the shy mom-cling. Then they played in the pretend doctors office, the construction pit, the waterworks (Naim still has texture issues here...so he mostly did the dad-cling while I played with Aaron and tried not to get completely wet), then their little grocery store/kitchen where they pushed little carts around and grabbed food and then even put everything back without even being asked, then we went and played at a big train table (yea! I found a train set they can play on that doesn't live at my house!) and then we tried story time, but they were too tired for it. We went and had an indoor picnic lunch that I brought and back on the train and home. After a nap, D and his father came over for pizza and cake and although I did not get them anything present wise, they got some nifty wooden cars, and a loud, annoying very educational, I'm sure, caterpillar that has alphabet for feet from their grandpa. Naim has already picked his favorite song off of it. They were riled up after that and did not want to go to bed but were too tired to be any use to themselves and thus became cranky. I let them watch "Blue's Clues" to round off their day of special things they don't usually get to do and then to bed they went.
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I want to just jot down a few developmental things here so I remember. Probably boring to most--it's your call.
Naim:
Naim is full of personality, goofiness and character. He is shy at first but is very outgoing once he is comfortable with you. He is very physical and does not like to sit for long. He likes this game that he calls "RUN" while he signs the sign for run so vigorously that he practically propels himself forward with just the force of the sign itself. We basically run through the house from the front door to the back door and back. We do different kinds of walking or running on each turn. We might stomp, walk like a penguin, walk and clap or with our hands up in the air, walk backwards or turn in circles or whatever. It is basically our form of follow the leader. With my broken foot, I haven't been able to play with him as much like this. This was really a problem for a few days, but now he is content to play the game himself or with Aaron with me just encouraging him on the sidelines.
Naim and I have worked extensively on speech and language the past few months and I have seen a lot of improvement. He is starting to enunciate more and more words that are understandable. The dreaded point and grunt is almost all but gone now. He will now sit with me for short periods with a book or with a sit down activity like coloring or play doh. We painted with watercolor and brushes the other day and he is getting better with tolerating different textures. He also is starting to be able to stand to squish the play doh a bit more. He is getting to be better at eating now and will try more foods at least. He is starting to figure out that just because something was too hot SIX MONTHS AGO!! that it isn't necessarily too hot this time. He says a few two to three word sentences now. Mostly things like "Lights off." and "More milk." He also is starting to say, "Help me, please," when he can't do something instead of screaming his head off.
Naim is my constant helper with housework and chores. He loves to help me empty and load the dishwasher, sweep the floor, add/remove laundry from the washer and dryer, put things in the trash, get his bath things ready, pick up his toys. I almost feel guilty having him go and fetch me stuff so often because he actually really is starting to help me rather than be a pain in my side. But he really enjoys it and wants to help so I think it is good for him. I'm so totally not used to having a little man servant around. I suppose it won't last so I better enjoy it.
Naim's "spectrum-y" type behaviors still are of some concern, but I'm keeping a cool head about it at this time. He is extremely routine dependant and has some trouble with textures and has some almost OCD elements in his personality. When we had the cats, we needed to keep the door open to the path to their litter. Naim was crazy obsessive about shutting this door. Now he is crazy obsessive about which lights need to be on and which don't. I am noticing that as his language and understanding improves, we are able to get over some of these things. He had a problem with the dishwasher. He wanted to shut it constantly and turn it on. We had several tantrums when I did not let him turn it on, but eventually, he now gets that sometimes we turn it on and sometimes we don't. So, I'm thinking these may be quirky toddler things based on his anxiety over anticipatory stuff and as his language improves it will fade away. Despite some suggestions by others, I am not even close to ready to call in early intervention yet. My best intentions are for us to fly right under that radar. So far the stuff I am doing to help him anticipate what is coming and to be more flexible seems to be helping.
This routine dependence makes him an mostly very well-behaved child. He likes to know what is expected of him and he likes to comply. He easily walks with me and doesn't run off when we are out without the stroller. He listens and follows directions very well. He is so funny and friendly. One of my favorite things about Naim is his love for music. When he was a baby, he could be settled by the right bluesy number. Now, he almost always has a song in his head that he is singing. He knows a lot of classical tunes that he can sing and dance to upon hearing the name of the song. He picks up new songs right away and has definite preferences for music. He can keep a beat and has a bit of rhythm when he dances. He can finish the lyrics of many songs if I get him started. For his speech, we have read poems together and I've had him finish each line of familiar poems. He really enjoys rhythmic language. I will figure out how to give him some real opportunities to explore music in his future.
Naim does not need much physical affection, but will come and get some momlovins when he needs them. He has shown empathy for Aaron when Aaron has been crying or hurt. He also treats his dolls lovingly and is very gentle with the cats. I worry a bit about Naim letting Aaron dominate him and I'm still thinking about how to best deal with that. Naim is so much fun and mostly such an easy going kid to have around. Everyone loves Naim.
Aaron:
D and I still joke that Aaron is your standard issue baby. That does not mean that there is nothing special about him, he is just extremely typical of a lot of toddler's that I have worked with. Aaron still has his stunning smile that he will share with almost anyone. He is very willing to just jump into a new situation. Aaron is very affectionate and needs lots of hugs and kisses throughout the day. On average, he has got me in about one huge long bear hug every half hour.
He likes to sit and play with toys and read books more than run around. Although sometimes he and Naim will chase each other around the house and giggle and scream. He still can't keep up with Naim, but his walking has gotten much steadier. He is very squirmy and likes to tumble around and climb a lot, though. He likes me to throw him upside down and swing him around and stuff.
Aaron is all about language. His enunciation is almost perfect. There is very little baby talk with him. He says words slowly and deliberately, pausing to think between each word in order to get that enunciation down. I have no idea how many words he knows now. He learns new words almost instantly and every day there are new words he has learned. He talks in two or three word sentences most of the time and also likes to repeat everything you say. (Scary!) There is also getting to be less and less talking above him because he picks out things from your conversation. Lately he has not wanted me to read him books. He wants to sit with his own books and read them himself.
There is a margin of error, but Aaron knows his main colors, shapes, letters, and numbers up to around 5-10. He finds letters everywhere. On cereal boxes, the light rail train, TV, clothing, toothpaste. He doesn't know the small letters as well but knows all the capitals. I told him the other day that the "Q" he identified on the oatmeal started the word Quaker and the "O" said Oats. Three days later I asked him to get me oatmeal from the cupboard and he put his finger on the wording and traced it while saying "Quaker Oats." I cannot stop this kid from learning to read. I think by this time next year he might be reading early phonics books.
Aaron has a stubborn side and he can be a bit of a bully. He grabs toys away from Naim and also gets very jealous over my attention. I'm still trying to think of the best way to deal with this. If I pull the toy back out of his hand, that seems to reinforce that pulling toys away from people is OK. Naim doesn't help matters when I try to get Aaron to give the toy back, but by that time, Naim is so upset he doesn't want the toy anymore. My new strategy is to let him take the toy, say something to the effect that he made Naim very sad by taking his toy away, and then ignore him while showering Naim with attention as we find something new for him to do. Aaron is an attention whore, so sometimes he is pulling the toy away not so much for the toy itself, but because Naim and I were playing with it. He thinks my interest is the toy. Not playing with Naim. So I think I will ignore and still play with Naim. If you all have a better idea that you've tried for this, let me know.
Aaron tests and tests and tests my limits. He tries my patience, but then takes it so personally and gets so upset when I don't let him do something. D and I joke that Aaron is an only child trapped in a twin's body. I love to sit on the couch with Aaron and read and talk together. I love his smile in the morning and all of his hugs. He can work himself into the most delightful full fledged laugh and you can't help but laugh, too. But I do need breaks from Aaron in order to give him the patience he needs and the attention he demands. We will get through the twos, Aaron and I, I just have to work on helping him work his stubbornness into something useful and help him find ways to keep himself company sometimes. I think he is going to be a naturally social child. I think he might be a kid who likes a lot of people around. I am looking forward to having a lot of real and diverse conversations with him when he is older.
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Now that they are two, they have aged in to a couple of activities that we will be trying. At the gym where I take them for two hours, three days a week for childcare, they have "Little Feet Fridays." This is basically a playgroup for two to four year olds that is in the big gym, not in childcare, for a half-hour. They get to play in the inflatable things, do little obstacle courses, play with balls and scooters, etc. It is a gross motor skill, run off the excess energy activity that we so sorely need in the winter months here. They also can be in childcare for more than two hours at a time now, so I might start alternating and taking one of them swimming with me for a half hour on the days that I swim. This will give them some time apart, which they've had zilch of, and also give them some one on one time with me. Also, at the Children's Museum, we might try a toddler clay/art class for two and three year olds. This will hopefully help Naim with some of his hating to touch anything stuff. And it is clay/art somewhere that is not my home and thus I don't have to clean it up. Right after that, they have a toddler story/song time that I think we'll try as long as we are there. Then we still have our healthy start teacher coming twice a month. She is very nice and I like her, but she gives me very little useful information whatsoever. However, I think due to lack of family participation, it is good that the kids have a visitor and a chance to be social. She also always brings fun activities for them to do that I was too lazy to think up. And then we continue to work through "Slow and Steady, Get Me Ready" and my Montessori Assistant to Infancy textbooks at a very informal and leisurely pace. If for no other reason than that the activities in these books that mostly require things like toilet paper rolls, clothespins and shoe boxes; which has allowed me to get by without buying and putting out a million toys.
And that is a look at where we are and what things look like here in the near future for us. I can't believe I have TWO year olds already!!! Have I said that? But then I think about that when my mother was my age she had a 14 year old and a 16 year old. Wow. I'm old.
They grow up so fast. It is amazing how siblings can be so different. My sister and I turned out quite different. We were not twins. It just goes to show you that we each have our own personality.
Posted by: Angela | December 08, 2006 at 09:05 AM