Maudlin Mellowdramatic Mix-tape Memory Mania

Remember how I said my left wrist hurt? Well, now it is all swollen and shooting pains and I can't hardly put any weight on it. I'm assuming a sprain and doing the RICE bit. (Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation). I'm hoping it gets better in a few days so I don't have to go to the doctor, but it has been three days and it has stayed really swollen. So, I haven't wanted to type much. Or think much, since I've been popping the Advil as well.

So I've been spending my time doing other stuff. I opened a box of sentimental crap that I had packed away that hasn't been opened in over three years. It just has pictures and cards and memorabilia from the past 18 years of my life. Someday I should organize it into scrapbooks or something. Anyway, I found the obligatory bunch of mix-tapes given to me by old boyfriends. Boyfriends gave me a lot of songs. I think it was partly because I couldn't see and they didn't know what else to give me. And also because I've dated a lot of guys who I think are not necessarily good with words so they let a big 80's power ballad do their talking for them. Isn't that why power ballads were written? So guys could get laid?

This post is for you who are bored out of your mind, or procrastinating a great deal and desire a total time suck of my YouTuberGeekery. Here are some of the highlights of songs I've been given from circa 1988 to 2001 or so. Many on tape. I haven't even had a tape player for years, but D gave me an old one for the kids' room, so I finally played some of these old songs. I'm going to identify the old BFs by first and middle initial, but I'm disguising a few details. And by the way, D knows all these old boyfriend stories and vice versa and we don't get hung up on talking about people we used to date like some other couples. So don't get all uncomfy about him or any of these other guys reading this, because they all pretty much know each other anyway. And they are part of who you are today. Them and their bad 80's songs. For the record, I do realize my weird dating M.O. of being a highly skilled breaker-upper, but with a chronic case of serial monogamitis. I have these deep, intense but somewhat short relationships, extremely amicable break-ups and, many times, lifetime friendships, but unlike most of you all, they've all resulted in no ring on my finger. Now I realize that I just kept going back to D, so I'm okay right here for the long haul I guess, and there are a lot of things I like about not being married anyway. Makes for easier tax returns. Anyway, It is fun to go back and remember all these old songs that were oh so very important at the time.

OK, so K.L., an all around good guy that I still am in contact with, gave me this hair band classic. You gotta remember here that I lived in the Midwest. In the Midwest, guys didn't go for Depeche Mode or Erasure or any pansy ass music like that, it had to all be metal. And for the females, metal gave us the power ballad. Here is "I Remember You" by Skid Row, whose lead singer Sebastian Bach was MUCH too pretty to ever be bad ass, no matter how hard he tried. Look for yourself. His face was just too beautiful for metal.

For a brief few weeks one summer I dated K.C. I don't even remember his middle name so that is his real first name and his nick name initials. This was the summer I saw "Robin Hood" four fucking times in the theatre because that was the movie every guy wanted to take you to. I went the first time with my mom. Then my neighbor guy (who dated my friend, not me, but we hung out together occasionally) begged me to go see it with him. Then this guy I only dated once (don't remember his name) took me to it after I assured him in the line at the theatre that I had not seen it before. Oh, geez, now I even remember going to it with the above K.L. and his friend E.S.--so that is five times! Five times I sat through this godamned movie! Curses! (It is the price you pay for not having your own transportation, in this case, IIRC). Then K.C. took me to see it after he was all gung ho about it and I assured him that I would be fine going to see it an, ahem, second time. By this time I was humming the soundtrack in my sleep, so K.C. bought me the soundtrack. He didn't give me this song specifically as a meaningful song for me, but he put it on a mix tape and I always associate this song with the summer of Robin Hood and K.C. (Everything I Do/Bryan Adams)

I met N.O. and fell completely head over heals for him for a month in New York and then he left to go overseas and I left to go back to the boring Midwest and we lost track of each other for eight years. I had looked for him off and on and he said he even came to Nebraska once to see if he could find me, but I was in Kansas at that time. Suddenly, without even trying, I found him out of the blue through a work contact. And I found out from him that he put his parents address (so I would always be able to find him) in a Jimi Hendrix CD he gave me 8 years before. I never looked inside the liner notes for eight years, and then I found it! We now talk all the time, although we still live in different countries. He introduced me to Jimi Hendrix, and specifically the song, "Little Wing." (I can't find a good copy of this, but this is the best audio I could find.)

Here is a song from Q.B. He gave me this song in not a romantic way (obviously, it has the word "placenta" in it, so how romantic could it be?), but he would record songs that he liked for me and write out the lyrics and stuff. He was really into this song and thought it was cool when I signed it. I always think of him when I hear it. But when I became pregnant right after my mom died, it came into my head again. All about the circle of life and such. (Lightning Crashes/Live)

D.H. I had no business dating D.H. There were early signs, like when he took me to a hockey game and got drunk and started yelling, "I want to drive the Zamboni!" to the zamboni driver. I think it was temporary insanity on my part. Yet, he was a lot of great fun when he wasn't drinking. We don't really see each other anymore, but we left on amicable terms. Here's one that we joked and laughed about as being "our song." (My Favorite Mistake/Sheryl Crow with Eric Clapton)

Next would have to be J.R. He and I followed each other around the country for a while. Most of my memories of him surround saying goodbye in airports. It got too hard and we broke up because of geography. That and the fact that he was crazy. I'm not being cruel there, I think he would admit this himself. His brand of crazy stemmed from being too overcompulsively self-aware, so he was self-aware enough to admit his own level of insanity. Then, for a while we had what I called the QTA. The Quarterly Torrid Affair, where we would meet up for a weekend but with the understanding that that's all it was. That slowly died off, though when QTAs started being canceled. I'd have a surgery, he'd have a business trip. Then there was his trip to Aspen where he hung out with Demi Moore (not in a together way, she was dating one of his friends), and then he ditched me on Thanksgiving to go to China with Chuck Norris (Again, not in the together way, business trip.) And that was that. I can't compete with Demi and Chuck and Aspen and China. D always said he was too good looking for me anyway--it's true, he was out of my league...that and the fact that he was crazy. He sent me Tori Amos' "little earthquakes" because he thought I would identify with several songs on it, which probably pretty much indicates that he thought I was just as fucked up in the head as I thought he was. Mostly, I identified with "China" because he gave it to me right after the China thing. We occasionally email each other and send Xmas cards, but he's doing his own big world thing now. Here, watch Tori slither and writhe on wet rocks:

D.D. and I have shared and traded several songs over the years. Here is one of my favorites that he gave me. I especially like this version of "I Shall Believe" because the beautiful voice of Pat Benatar is on harmony. Remember back when we had cool women singers like Pat Benatar and Debbie Harry and Stevie Nicks? I think Pat Benatar can probably fart out a note better than Britney Spears can sing it. Anyway, this is a nice song that D gave me during a hard time.

Okay, that is the boyfriend litany. Stay tuned for old high school pictures of me or home movies or something else equally boring where I don't have to think and type. Does anyone know how long a sprain takes to heal?

Comments

[marisa]

i was gonna ask how you found captioned music videos, and then i noticed the stream of korean go by during the instrumental bridge. haha

[Kathryn]

Lisa,
Great post! I really enjoyed that little tour/blast from the past. Sorry to hear about your sprain. Sprains suck and take a couple of weeks to heal. If it is still swollen you should probably get it looked at. Looking forward to the high school pics.

Kathryn

[Gillian]

Rule of thumb, soft tissue injuries take from 2 to 3 weeks bone injuries take from 6 to 8 weeks. Sorry you feel crummy.