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« A Terribly Long Rant Concerning Housework That Will Probably Drive You to Shoot Your Computer Screen Out After The Third Paragraph | Main | You Mean People Actually Read This Shit? »

July 23, 2006



I love this post, even though it is about the difficulties in your life. I love it because just the fact that you feel you have to defend yourself proves your points. I love it because I see clearly how your mind works like mine, turning all the choices over and over and trying to find the best/most workable one. I love it because you GET IT--that it's the other stuff that really matters, even though we have to spend so much time and energy figuring out the material stuff.

That Girl

It seems to me (Warning assvice alert) that you take entirely too much crap off of people, speaking as someone who has the same problem from time to time.
Your dad may not be kicking you out but what he is doing is far worse.
Making you feel bad for even existing, for not meeting his standards, for not getting out of the way - parents are not supposed to make you feel "less than".
That kind of abuse causes sickness of the soul, which can be more debilitating than any physical disability.
I think it's great that you are unwilling to give up on your relationship even though it changed from what you expected.
Maybe you should consider some other options - a roommate, etc.
I have been where you are before and what I found was that hanging on to "It's okay for now" when it's really not is instinctive - it's knowing that it could be worse.
But it can also be a lot better.
I wish I could give you some actual help.


I learn so much from you!

One thing I used to keep in mind when I was a starving grad student paying 90% of my income in rent (but with far fewer responsibilities than you) is "my friends will never let me starve/live on the street."

Tell yourself that, because it's true!



i'm a disabled job-seeker too. i just stumbled on this job meta-search site that appears to use google's search technology, but all the search results are job listings!

the two search fields are "what" and "where". i suggest putting your zip code in the "where" to find jobs in your area. i even did a search with "metro-accessible -not-metro-accessible" and my zip code and got a list of postings that included the phrase "metro accessible" and excluded the phrase "not metro accessible". whee! (i live in the washington, dc metro area, where many people use the subway.)

you can get a free account and set up alerts to email you job search results for multiple searches.

this is much better than all the random searches i was doing on many many sites.

also, a good site that has advice and info for disabled job seekers (especially blind ones) is eSight:

good luck!


Oh dear god, "the new Gay." I just about choked. Or something.

You emailed me a week or so ago. I'm sorry I didn't reply. I got in trouble for being on the web at work, and had to cut back.

I totally pass, but I absolutely need that health insurance and my disease is progressing (RA)so I don't seem to be able to work full-time without feeling sick all the time. I'm trying to find a part-time job with the insurance. Healthcare for everyone is the single most important issue facing this country, I think.

Actually, I'd really be interested in your take on sick vs. disabled. I'm sick, with no physical disablity, yet. I don't feel like I have a disability, exactly, but it feels like something.

Also, a country that is willing to waste a huge percentage of a generation of black men? Those are people they wouldn't even have to make accomodations for. It's depressing.

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