I have to do my little re-assessment of how things are going with the kids every three months, if you remember. This time, things kind of made me feel bad.
When I got back from my Thanksgiving trip, I had to take the kids in to WIC for their every six month check-up. I've decided that once the kids get off formula, I am going to get off of WIC, but I'll actually miss these little check-ups, because they are more informative than my pediatrician. I'm contemplating staying in WIC for the check-ups and info and just not using the vouchers. But I don't know if you can do that.
Anyway, the kids had been sick and for some reason didn't drink much on the trip. WIC found them to be anemic and had actually dropped off the growth chart, after consistently following the 10%ile to 20%ile arc, they dropped off the arc totally. I was quite shocked and upset by this, but I'm glad I went in. I had not seen the ped since they were ten months and had not seen our county health nurse since 11 months, so all this happened in the last four weeks. So they gave them 2 additional months of formula. That's good, but man, I was looking forward to being done with formula. Now I think we'll be doing formula until about mid February.
They also wanted me to add cottage cheese, yogurt, and more real meat to their diet. WIC expects you to make your own baby food. I have to admit that I go back and forth between making my own food and using the jars. In the past few weeks and while traveling, its been all jars. Naim is doing pretty well with eating more textured foods, but Aaron likes to slurp the slop still. Naim will eat whole blueberries, peas, really-ground beef, etc. Aaron acts like I'm trying to kill him and spits it all out and cries. So it is hard, because you want to make sure they eat something so they don't lose weight, but you also want to push the solids. Its a bit of a balance. So I'm trying to really be dedicated to feeding them real food and not relying on the jars. The other day, all three of us shared a straight banana. No pureeing, didn't even chop it up. Tonight, Aaron did better than Naim when eating small bits of cantaloupe, so he is improving. I just have to keep at it.
On their birthday, D and I took them to the Children's Museum. They played in the "Waterworks" and in a digging pit (filled with little rubber pellets) and in a "Baby Garden," which had all sorts of (fake) tree trunks to crawl around in and (fake) flowers off all different colors and textures to play with. There was another little girl there that was a lot bigger than my guys and could do everything they could do. I asked the mom how old she was and she said NINE MONTHS! Oh, my god!
It's not so much that I worry about them having something wrong with them, like they are slow or whatever, I know there is a preemie component to this. But I think there is also a twin/single mom component as well, and that makes me feel bad. I feel like I can't give each of them the individual attention that they need, and that I can't get them out enough to interact with others. They were so shy around the other babies and the other babies were way more social. They were also so in awe of everything at the children's museum that they could barely move!
I've been looking for some way to get them out and around other children on a somewhat regular basis. I've applied for early head start, which would take them for a couple of hours two days a week, but I don't think I'm going to get in because my income is too high and there is a waiting list. I looked into gymboree classes, but they are far away and cost like $175 for one hour a week for four weeks! There is a Waldorf school that has a program that might work well for them but they have to be 18 months old. So now I'm looking at an indoor playground that my local parks and rec offers for just $2/hour. I'd have to take the bus with them, which I've been too wimpy to do, but I guess I could try. I was really hoping to wait until they could walk to take the bus so at least I could set one down on his feet for a second, but I think we need to just get out. It actually might speed up their walking. Aaron is walking with the walker wagon, but it is a pain to steer and we really don't have that much space in the house for him to get a good walk with it. He goes a few feet, runs into something and can't get going again, and then gets frustrated. Naim stands and cruises along furniture but has no interest in walking. He crawls like a bat out of hell so I think he doesn't see the point.
The county health nurse came on their birthday and did their one year developmental assessment. They are still behind in language. This is also a twin thing. I talk to them all day long, but I don't get a whole lot of that individual talking time with either of them and it really makes a difference. I read in a twin book that the way to get twins going on language is to find a preschool program and alternate days with who goes. So Monday, Aaron would go and Naim would stay with me, then Tuesday, Naim would go and Aaron would stay. Takes some of the fun out of getting your kids off to preschool so you get the house to yourself! But, I can see how this would work well. The few minutes here and there I get to spend with just one child, it is just a huge difference in the quality of the interaction. Their concentration is better, they are more focused, they can finish something before getting interrupted. They can get affection from me without the other one coming over to climb me. It's interesting.
One thing I've started doing is to stop being so lazy when running errands with them. A lot of times, D and I will run errands together. And rather than unload all four of us from the car, D will stay in the car with the kids while I go in. Well, sometimes this means they sit in the car for a couple of hours a stretch. I've decided this isn't good enough. So today, we ran errands and I took Aaron in to the Petsmart alone while Naim stayed in the car. Do you realize how EASY it is to go places with just ONE CHILD? My gosh. I could just grab him out of the car seat, carry him to the store and plop him in the shopping cart. With just me and him, we looked at the cats and the birds and the fish and the guinea pigs, and some people's dogs. It was great. Then I took Naim to New Seasons and we looked at and touched the vegetables and fruits and talked to people in line and he saw that I actually get his cereal from somewhere other than the cupboard. I think if I can somehow plan to have some time with just each of them, we could pick up some language skills. The nurse said that by 12 months they are supposed to be saying SIX words? Does that sound right? Mine don't consistently say any, but if I use my imagination and prompt Naim, he will say "all done." Aaron calls EVERYTHING "daddy" now, so I guess that's something.
We've been watching "baby Einstein" videos before bed, now. I know everyone else reads books at bedtime, but they seem to get too excited over books, so that happens during the daytime. Baby Einstein videos seem to relax them. Naim likes to sit on my lap and rock back and forth to the music. Aaron cannot sit still for a whole video (about 30 minutes) so he watches and then plays for a little bit and then watches and then hangs on me for a while and then plays and then watches. The videos drive me batty, but I think they are actually teaching Naim some language. He will point to his feet now after seeing it on the videos. So its coming along, they show me something new almost everyday. I'm not really worried about it per se, just worried that I am providing enough opportunity for them.
Hi! I think it is really important to remember that they are both twins AND preemies. You have to think how old they are not from birth, but from conception. As well as all kids are so different. I personally could speak at 10 months, but my brother took longer. I think your new thing of taking one of the two shopping with you is great. Kids learn SOOO much being included in adults' daily routines out in the world. Everything is a social and learning opportunity. The switching off daycare thing sounds good too. Though I have to admit that given that many kids are in daycare fulltime all day long, and have 20 other kids, not one, demanding attention from the caregivers, yours are probably doing great with the two to one kid to childminder ratio. Think of it. Those kids whose moms work full time are almost never getting one on one mom attention. Only to rush breakfast and to daycare in the am, and rush home supper bedtime at night. The rest of the day they have constant distractions and group activities. Is there some place you could alternate them one or two days a week, and have them both gone there one day for the mom R&R day?? In any case, I would deal with the anemia, and as long as they are getting food and not starving, I think they are doing great. They'll catch up. And if they don't, they'll be small. I'm sure they'll be speaking by 6 and walking by 12. LOL!
Posted by: cluttergirl | December 14, 2005 at 12:43 PM
I can definitely relate to the twin mom guilt. It got much easier for me when my girls started walking on their own and got much better about playing individually. Now I feel like I have a lot of time with each one while the other plays by herself or with the pets. Although, we play all together a lot, too, and I think this accounts for their increased socialness compared to my friends with only one baby.
Words: at our 15 month doctor's appointment, all they were supposed to say is 3 words. That's it. At our 18 month Parents As Teachers visit, she wanted to make sure they knew 10.
Speaking of Parents as Teachers, it's awesome and free and there may be one close to you. They hold near-daily playgroups in my area. I love it.
http://www.parentsasteachers.org/site/pp.asp?c=ekIRLcMZJxE&b=272091
And, yes, it is SO EASY to take one baby someplace! :)
Posted by: Linda | December 14, 2005 at 12:56 PM
I worry about my twins' development too. So far they're on target developmentally, but they spend waaay to much time stuck in one room of our house. It's so cold here, and I don't have a car in the afternoons, even if I did want to take 2 babies somewhere by myself. I think your plan for errands is great. I don't really have any solutions, but I can relate.
Posted by: Emmie | December 15, 2005 at 07:15 AM
my kids are preemies too, and i've heard such diverse opinions about our kid's growth that i've decided not to worry about it. their pediatrician always says they are doing fabulous, their PT seems to always find new concerns, their speech therapist sometimes says they are doing great, while other times says they are behind. we can't change their development even if we know they are behind anyway....so i'm going to try to help them develop to their fullest potential, and be content with wherever that leads us. i say this....and at the same time know that you can't help but worry, and I know that even if this is my GOAL, my actual response to evals are to worry if they are bad. hopefully, how i want to respond and how i actually DO respond will become closer and closer to the same.
Posted by: instamom | December 15, 2005 at 11:06 AM
huh. I don't have twins, but I seriously doubt Nat will be saying six words by February.
Right now, she says "k! k!" when I try to get her to say "mama." I think it's because Cole has been trying to get her to say "Cole" and "k..." is as far as she's gotten, but she's very proud and convinced it's English.
She will be 10 months next week and is NOT crawling AT ALL. She leans a bit from a sitting position when I put something just out of her reach, then looks up at me and says "uh! uh!" which means "solve my problem, Mama Shannon!" I think she will be cruising before she's crawling.
Posted by: shannon | December 15, 2005 at 09:20 PM
My 13 month old son doesn't have 6 words or even 3, he gets Mama and Dad and everything else is dah, gah or bah. Your children seem to be perfectly fine, please try not to worry!
Posted by: Boliath | December 19, 2005 at 12:08 PM