The babies just had their baths and bedtime bottles and are in bed. My father left this morning to return to Kansas and when he goes, Abbey goes. So for the first time in two months I'm enjoying the quiet in this house and it is not even past midnight.
Grampa Fred is a trip. He's annoying as hell and I really enjoy having him here. Well, most of the time. He watches too much loud TV, he lumbers around the house exclaiming things with no particular context:
Fred: "Did you know that?"
Me: "Know what?"
F: "That guy that worked with the horses got put back upstairs."
Me: "What the hell are you talking about?"
F: "You know the guy, the GUY. The Guy Brownie Guy who worked with Arabian Horses. W. won't fire him but he put him back upstairs."
Me: "Okay, you mean the FEMA guy? Michael Brown? What happened to him?"
F: "W, that bastard. W replaced him but didn't fire him. He sent him back to Washington. W. That Bastard. Only 18% of people think he screwed up. Dumb sonsabitches."
Me: "Huh?"
F: "You better get these bottles in the dishwasher. I ain't gonna do it anymore."
My father is very intelligent. He is well read. But he probably has learning disabilities. He definitely has a bit of aphasia. He knows what he wants to say, but can't think of the words. My family has gotten very adept at what we call "Fredspeak." D can't understand a word he says. He also tends to mumble. And when you combine my hearing with his Fredspeak and mumbling...Well, lets put it this way, I mostly ignore 95% of whatever it is that comes out of his mouth.
But he doesn't care. He's a weird combination of very laid back and extremely uptight. He has what I call the "Nanocrisis." I mostly ignore them, but to other people they can be quite alarming. You will be minding your own business and all of the sudden:
"Fuck! Goddamn sonofabitch. Fucking piece of Shit thing! God Damn it!"
If you are new to this, you think the world is ending. You rush to see what horrible thing has happened.
"Oh, I forgot to take this trash out with the rest of the garbage," he says in a perfectly calm voice. "I'll do it next week."
Crisis over.
Laundry, coffee cups, dishwashers, taking the wrong exit on the freeway, dog poop. These are the crises of my father's life. And in general, they only last seconds. Other than that, nothing much else bothers him.
The kids have really grown attached to him. Especially this visit when D has been in the hospital most of the time and they are getting older and more social. He is not into babysitting them for fear of the nanocrisis called Poopy Diaper. But he plays with them all the time. He was very excited to keep track of their crawling improvements and would have them racing each other down the hall. I'd worry about the competition aspect of it, but I don't think they realized that they were racing each other.
But I have talked to him about his use of the word Fuck and all of his other colorful language. I tell him that when the preschool teacher calls me up and says the kids are cussing her out because she brought them the wrong colored cup of juice, he is going to go down and conference with her about it. Not me.
He blows me off at the time, but then I do notice that he cuts the cussing and the nanocrisising in the days that follow. My only hope is that I don't have to retrain him every time he comes out to visit.
He helps me a lot when he is here. He mows the lawn, takes care of the downstairs housework, is usually always available to be the extra two hands I need to feed the kids or allow me to give one some extra attention. He has run me to the hospital countless times and sat in various hospital waiting rooms while I visit with D. He has run me on a thousand little errands and taken the kids in the stroller for walks. And never once does he say, "What are you going to do when I'm not here to do this for you?" He knows he's helping me but also knows that I will do it myself when he's gone. Well, alright, he does remind me 47 times to mow the lawn and turn off the sprinklers when the rainy season starts.
He is funny and aggravating and irritating and funny. Did I say he was funny? He is always making the kids laugh. The kids always go through a bit of withdrawal when he leaves as they get used to just me. In a way, it is easier without him here because I have just twins rather than triplets. (It's the dog, you see. She is in the exact same developmental stage as the twins. She gets into everything below two feet high and all of that everything goes directly into her mouth.) My dad does not supervise Abbey well, so I get triplets with two extra hands when he is here, and twins with just my own two hands when he is gone.
I look forward to him being gone when he goes, then I miss him a bit. Then I look forward to him coming back. And he IS annoying!
It is looking like D will be coming home on Wednesday finally after 7 weeks of hospitalization. He looks to be doing really good. I think he has taken the experience to heart and is working very hard on getting a grip on everything. He still has to do my one major request, which is to get another attendant (been asking for that for four years, now). I'm going to give him two weeks to get that in order before I go on strike or something. So we are still working out the schedule or how this will work out again. But hopefully we can see him a bit more now, and the kids won't miss my dad so much.
Gastoskopija is good for everyone.
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