We all learn the word "No!"

Today was a hard one for DW and Aaron. Aaron is now fascinated by DW's wheelchair. Now that he can crawl or scoot at least, he comes after DW which makes DW roll away. Finally I told him to stay put. It is more dangerous to roll on and have him chase you than to just stay where you are. I told him that this is as good a time as any to teach the kids the word "No!" I usually try to redirect the kids, but DW can't always do that from his chair so he needs to learn to use his voice to direct the kids. Aaron kept grabbing at the wheels and I told DW to tell him, "No! and push his hands away." After he did that a couple of times, I got Aaron's attention focused on something else. It is kind of sad in a way. The kids have lived through seven months of never hearing a negative or harsh word, and now the discipline starts and the limits are being set. The good side of that is that it comes with their independence. Aaron, who didn't move around much for a long time, is now mobile and he's getting a real adventuresome independent streak about him. And he is STRONG! I hate having to manhandle him away from something, but I have to sometimes, or every diaper would be in shreds. The "external gestation" period for Aaron is nearing its end.  As exciting as it is to see them develop each day, you kind of mourn the loss of the little babies they were.

Naim is moving along on his crawling, too, but is not quite yet as mobile as Aaron. He gets a little upset that Aaron can just take off and he can't.

DW is having some ongoing problems with his feet. Edema and pressure sores and infection. I've been pretty quite about it thus far, but last night was just the last straw. He came over last night and all I smelled was infection and necrotic tissue. It was disgusting and I didn't want the babies around it. Even my dad was pissed off about it, although he doesn't get it and thinks that DW just doesn't take showers. I wish! A much easier problem to solve!

A couple of years ago, I nursed DW for months through a long and nearly fatal bout with a pressure sore. The amount of work I missed from that, coupled with the discovery of my mother's terminal brain cancer that almost immediately followed his illness, caused me to lose my job. I was also hospitalized with an MRSA infection and my career ambition to become a Child Life Therapist was compromised. Tonight, I told him "No!" I will not go through that again. I will assist him, but he needs to deal with this before it gets any worse. He has to know that the kids are my priority now, and I cannot drop everything to help him anymore.

I banned him from my house until he gets well on his way to resolving this. It will be hard on me without him here four nights a week. He helps me get things done by watching the kids for me while I make formula, fold laundry, etc. All of us are going to miss him coming over. But what else can I do? I don't want the kids around that infection and stench, and I don't want to be his excuse for not taking care of it.

I will still haul myself and kids over to his place to work, however. I guess the kids will be getting a lot of baths in the next few weeks.

Comments

[Roshan]

Hello
I'm a freelance writer and am writing an article on the subject of donor insemination for British Marie Claire magazine. I need to find a young woman who was conceived using donor insemination and who has now met a donor sibling. I also need to find a woman who has just found out her boyfriend/husband has donor children.
Do you know anyone who could help me?
I'd be very grateful for your help.
Best wishes
Roshan