Twinkle Little Star

This Has Got to be the LAST TIME I Talk About Diapers

The second most common Google search that gets people to my site involves all things diaper related (the first being the hating of the O p r a h.) Then I get a lot of well meaning curious people that want to go cloth but just can't seem to get their heads around which products to buy, how much, etc. If I have time, I write back to try to explain that it is a SYSTEM, not just one product and that your mileage may drastically vary. It depends a lot on your lifestyle. How often do you want to do laundry? Can you afford a diaper service and remember to leave your diapers out for them on the right day? What do your kids do all day? How grossed out do you get by touching piss and shit? How much money do you want to spend? Etc. Still, they write back and say, okay, but I just don't get it! So which diaper should I buy?

So, I thought I would produce a visual aid of what I use and just refer to this post. Even though it may not be what will work for other people. But then they might better understand the system aspect of this. It's not just one all encompassing product that will work everywhere for everybody. Two disclaimers: First, remember that I have twins, so obviously I have more stuff than you need for just one. Second, I bought this stuff from different sources, some was given to me either second hand or as a trial promotion, whatever. I don't remember how much I spent. I will give you price info from a few current sites to  give you an idea of costs. Third, I don't really know how much I am saving with cloth over disposables. Do you honestly expect me to do that math? It hurts my head. If you want to figure it out, fine. I'll tell you what you need to know.

• My kids wore size one disposables for the first six months and averaged about 8 diaper changes a day for a total of 16 diapers a day.
• From six months to roundabouts 9 months they wore size 2 and had about 6 changes a day. 12 diapers total.
• 10-15 months, size 3, 4 changes a day.
• 15-2 years, size 4, 4 changes.
• 2 years - present, size 5, 4 changes.

Now, you just need to go get the unit price for all those sizes of diapers and multiply by how many I used per day per month. Then compare to the cloth products I'm about to show you and see how far you get, keeping in mind that I still use disposables about 20% of the time. Easy as pi? Yeah, get back to me on that when you figure all that out.

Okay, so here is the whole shebang of my stash of diapers and their accoutrement's:

Scary, huh? It probably isn't as bad as if you were to stack all the boxes of disposables that people use in two to three years.

From left to right:

Diaper Pail can be found here for $39.99, which includes the purple bag inside and some deodorizing disks. I'm not convinced I paid 40 dollars for a diaper pail and bag. That doesn't sound like me. But there is a wide variety of prices on different websites so I forget now. I don't put water in it, I just throw some detergent in the bottom of the bag, when its full, I pick the whole waterproof bag up and throw into the washer, bag and all. There is a slot in the lid that holds the deodorizing disks, which I forget to use half the time. Does it smell? Sure, but so does a trash bag full of disposables. It isn't too bad. Plus, I'm washing them more often than people are probably taking their garbage out.

Next is the whole gDiaper system: the bag of liners in front of the diaper bag, the stack of orange, green, red, blue covers in the back and the bunch of plastic liners in front of them. I got most of this stuff for free when gDiapers first went into business, (Its a local company that someone from my church was promoting). I only occasionally use this stuff. Mostly I use it when I am going to be gone all day with the kids and I don't want to carry around 6 dirty cloth diapers in my bag. I just throw the lining out. (BTW, I have a small version of the above washable purple diaper bag for toting soiled diapers in my bag. It works for one or two, but after that, I'm screwed. Thats when the g's are nice.) Sometimes I'll use the g covers with cloth diapers as well, but honestly they are getting kind of small for my kids, and I have the largest size.

Next to the gdiaper stuff are two stacks of diaper covers. The white stack in the back are bummis super whisper wraps. I swear I got them cheaper than this, but here they are going for $9.50 each. I think mine were only like 5 or 6 bucks each, but maybe I got them on sale or something. These are my everyday, tried and true diaper covers. You fold a diaper in thirds and shove the top edge in a little pocket and then you just Velcro them around the kid. I try to only use one per kid per day, though sometimes they get dirty and I have to use more. I think I have 12 of them.

The more colorful stack in the front  of the white ones are Fuzzi Bunz. These are the BEST DIAPERS EVAH! But I only have six, because they are the most expensive diapers EVAH! and these were given to me as hand-me-downs. They cost about $15 per diaper which includes the pocket insert. These are made of a waterproof nylon on the outside and then fleece on the part that touches your baby. It is really soft. In the back, there is a slit and you shove an absorbent pocket insert inside. The fleece makes poop just fall off easily, so there is hardly any shaking--or cursing--involved. I use these with a doubler (which I'll get to in a sec) for overnight. Since I only have six, that is three nights in these guys, and then on the fourth night, it is usually disposables while I do laundry. These are the only diaper (besides disposables) that I have found that will work all night. They wash nicely, they snap shut, one size pretty much fits all. Most of the time you can shake out the insert over the diaper pail, drop in the cover, and hardly get your hands dirty. If you have the means, I highly recommend. But since you throw out the cover with the diaper each change, its more laundry and a lot of money to get a decent amount to live on full time.

In back is a box of disposables. I need to be honest and say that I do use disposables part-time. I get whatever is on sale, these are costco brand. I use them overnight two or three times a week. I also use them when they go to daycare, because the daycare folks seem to be completely unable to figure out how to work a cloth diaper and keep all the parts to return to me. So that adds up to 2-4 diapers a week. Also, if a kid is really sick or has diarrhea or diaper rash, I will use them, because, I need to keep my sanity. My kids rarely ever get diaper rash. I don't think that using cloth has been a factor. Mostly they have gotten a day or so's worth of diaper rash when I have been unable to change a poopy diaper for a long period of time. Like at night or on a long car trip. One box lasts me quite a while, like a couple of months or so.

Below the box of disposables are a variety of little products I use. The brown box is diaper greens, a powdered detergent that also works sort of like baking soda to absorb odors so I throw a bit into the diaper pail. It is very gentle to the environment. I think it is just baking soda and soap flakes. It gets the job done, though very occasionally I will bleach the diapers as well. This stuff lasts forever. I'm only on my third box and its $12 a box.

The little blue bottles are cleansing greens. Same company. ($8, still on my first bottle.) You mix a tiny amount of this stuff into distilled water and it goes into a spray bottle that you can spray on your baby's butt. It smells nice and takes away that pee-y smell that they sometimes wake up with. It also lasts forever.  I use these with cloth diaper wipes (in front of the bottles) for quick cleanups. I do use wet disposable wipes (the light blue package) for the big, nasty jobs. I get whatever is on sale, usually a huge box of costco brand.

Next to the cloth wipes are cloth diaper doublers. (The things that look like folded maxi pads). I use these in the Fuzzi Bunz pockets along with the fuzzi bunz inserts (To the right of the doublers, they are included in the fuzzi bunz price) for overnight. Both are hemp/fleece. The doublers cost about $14 for 6.

Finally, the big stack of actual diapers are organic cotton Chinese or Indian prefolds. These are what I fold into thirds and put in the bummi wrap diaper covers. The Indian ones ($1.00 ea) are super soft but not as absorbent as the Chinese ($1.50 ea). I have a mish mash of these, some are hand-me-downs. I think I have about 24. I never go through them all before laundry day. I use 3 per day, per kid. These do not last overnight very well. But are quick and easy during the day. The main advantage to these is that they are cheap, cheap, cheap. When you get them, they will be super thin, but after you wash them in hot water a few times, they get softer and quiltier.

Many people say that cloth diapers also help with earlier potty training. I have not pushed this at all with the kids, but Naim is pushing me. So.....

Yes, it is about that time. Aaron has little interest, but Naim "practices" and tells me whats on the agenda as far as his bowels and bladder are concerned. Sometimes giving me a running play by play of the action in his pants. In case I miss it, he also lets me know afterwords so that I may take the appropriate action. We are in preliminary talks. I'm trying to negotiate a deal where we hold out until the weather is a bit warmer and I can leave him in training pants for a few days during the 'boot camp' portion of the job. I probably won't use pull-ups. I'll probably get a couple of pairs of cloth training pants. He feels the wetness and gets what it means and I'm not going to screw it up with pull-ups that absorb everything. (And they are really a pain in the ass if you ask me. Kids cannot pull those things up by themselves without ripping them.) I'm hoping Naim might inspire Aaron to start thinking about it, but I don't have any sort of timetable. I don't really care when they get potty trained, we'll just see how it goes. My dad thinks that all will be wonderful when they get potty trained because then his worst fear, that he will have to change a diaper, will not come true. However, what he doesn't understand is how convenient and wonderful diapers are and how much of a bitch it is to deal with a newly potty trained kid. The hurrying to help and unbutton and pull down pants before its too late. The having to stop every where and find a bathroom because the kid can't plan ahead yet, the having to clean out the potty or bend down and help the kid clean up. Oh, I can't wait! I'm in no hurry for potty training. But I will just play it by ear and let them lead the way. For now, we are just enjoying helping Ernie, and Elmo and all the dolls and even the little people and the trucks can sit on the new little toilet and "potty."

***************

Bonus conversation:

Me: Just took Aaron out of his crib.

Aaron: Baby in bed.

Me: Looking around in his crib for whatever doll he wants. I don't see a baby in the crib.

Aaron: NO! Aaron baby. Aaron in bed. Aaron out of bed.

Me: Oh, you're the baby? Aaron is the baby?

Aaron: Aaron baby.

Me: Yeah, but pretty soon you'll be a big boy.

Aaron: No. No big boy. Aaron LITTLE Boy.

Step Away, Other Mother, Or I Shall Sic My Worms on You

Some of you have asked me about what kind of reactions I get from The Public(tm) as a disabled parent. It's not a daily thing. Most of the time I go about my business and people are nice and friendly. I do get some strange looks and confusion in conversation sometimes, but in general, people are at least nice to my face. When I'm with D, sometimes he will report to me about little double takes and whispered comments when we walk by, but I guess being deaf blind has its advantages in that I am oblivious to most of this. Or maybe you just get so used to it you just don't pay attention. I remember when I would go home and spend time with my family and they would go places with me and my guide dog. They were unaccustomed to all the attention I got and would report to me every stare, every dog story said within earshot, every speculative question or comment said behind my back, every point-and-whisper. It was a lot of attention that they weren't used to. And I remember thinking that I don't pay attention to it anymore even though I know it happens, but when they brought it up, it was like, "Oh, yeah. That's my life."

Now, I can still pass as nondisabled usually sometimes unless someone actually interacts with me, and that is when things get weird. So, I thought I would share a typical example of that that happened today. This kind of thing happens, I'd say, a few times a month or so, depending on how much I go out and about and stuff.

I took the kids to the local library today. It is next to a park, so I decided to let them play at the park for a bit before we went into the library so they could get their wiggles out. I had walked by this park before, but had never really been in it or let the kids play in it before. I pulled up to a large play area and unloaded the kids from the stroller. They immediately headed for the big play structure. It was a bit too advanced of a play structure for them, but I went with them and they pretty much stayed with me and we climbed around on all the different levels and stuff. We held hands over the swinging bridge. I lifted them up some steep steps so they could "drive" the steering wheel. It was no big deal but I did have to stay close by them to insure their safety. It was not as ideal as the little play structure that we usually play at in our neighborhood. Then, this:

Other Mother: says something indistinguishable to me

Me: I'm sorry I didn't hear you.

Other Mother: Still says something I can't hear.

Me: I'm sorry, I still didn't catch that. I'm hearing impaired.

Other Mother: (walks right up to me and speaks with overenthusiastic loud tones) You're hearing impaired? Really? CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW??

Me: Yes, If you look at me when you talk, I can pretty much understand you.

Other Mother: What I SAID was, WHY CAN'T YOU TAKE THOSE KIDS TO THE TOT PLAYGROUND?

Me: Oh, yeah. Thank you. I didn't know there was a tot playground. This is my first time here.  That would work out much better. Where is it at?

Other Mother: Where is it at? [Looks at me as if I am an alien] What do you mean? It's right over there.

Me: Over there? Oh, Okay.

Other Mother: What's WRONG with you, anyway? Are you blind, too?

Me: [laughing casually] Yes, actually, I'm visually impaired, too. I know, it can be a little confusing sometimes when you don't know. But I appreciate your help--

Other Mother: You're DEAF AND BLIND???? Wait. Are these your children? Should you be out here with these children?

Me: Yes, they are my children. And we go to parks several times a week. We do fine and have had no problems. I just stay close to them.

Other Mother: tsk tsk tsk. I don't know. I just don't know about this. I really think you need some supervision. I mean maybe you've been lucky up to now, but anything could happen. Your husband allows you to take them outside without him?

Me: {In my head, I contemplate completely blowing her mind by telling her that my "husband" is a quadriplegic who has been in the hospital for a month so I've been allowed to escape his supervision...but I decide she might very well implode in front of me if I do that.) Of course he knows I take them to the park. He encourages it! He knows they are safe with me. Accidents happen to all kids sometimes. But actually, I'm a certified teacher and have supervised more than just two children many times for the past fifteen years. I have never had a kid seriously injured in my care. There really is a technique to this. I'm not leaving it up to chance.

Other Mother: I just don't think you are using good judgment. I'd never allow MY kids to be put in so much danger.

Me: Well, I don't think they are in any real danger. I am able to supervise them. I appreciate your help with the directions to the tot lot. We'll head over there, now.

Now, heh heh. We've been standing on an upper level of this play structure while all this has been going on. I can either take my kids through several layers of this thing with her watching me, or I can just take them all down a big slide and get out quick. I grab each kid on either side of me and we all three slide down a big slide together, sending my kids into a fit of giggles. (Isn't it fun to be a mom and have an excuse to go down the slides again?) Anyway, she says as I go, "You're crazy." And not in a good way.

One thing I think is funny when I tell people these stories is they can't believe that I was that calm and diplomatic. They say that they'd tell her some snarky comment. I think people that have to deal with stuff like this on a regular basis develop a snark to polite translator in their head. Through years of practice having the same conversations over and over, you develop a style of assertive politeness that also allows you to escape without escalating the situation. I think black guys that have to deal with the police have to do this to a great extent as well. Here is the deal, I don't have the luxury of telling her off. No one except the disability community and a few sympathetic others are on my side here. If I tell people off like this, and I let it escalate into something awful where this woman is pissed, wants to save face, and thinks I'm crazier than she already thinks I am--boom! the police or DCF is called and I end up in a horrible mess and put my kids in jeopardy. It takes lots of practice (I'm lucky to get lots of practice, ahem) and a balance of standing your ground while sweet talking and comforting the other person to get through these situations without incident. When I was younger, I wasn't so good at it. It got me in some trouble, too. But thank god I didn't have kids at the time so the only one who faced the consequences was me.

I think some people can be educated and these kind of experiences become positive things. Most of the time, you get people that will never be convinced, but they just say, "there but for the grace of God goes the deaf blind mom. How shameful, but I'm staying out of it." Then you get a few vigilantes that are hell bent on saving the world and yourself from the likes of you and they will go off and do something crazy like call the authorities on you. It is those few that you have to be careful of. It is a walking on eggshells thing.

But usually, I just come home and laugh it off. I think this is one reason, though, I have such a hard time living with my dad. I get so much judgment out in public that I NEED to come home to a safe haven where I don't have to deal with anything like this second guessing me and judging me and making stupid comments about what I am capable of. I think with my dad, it is not entirely related to my disability, it is just because I am the youngest kid who will always be the incapable youngest kid. But still, it has the same effect. I'm sure he says stupid stuff to my sister as well, but she probably goes to work and about her business each day without everyone in the public scrutinizing her capabilities, so what my dad says probably isn't that big of deal to her. But then also, she can do no wrong and is all knowing. For example, he went off on me once about how she has such great computer skills and knows how to do everything on the computer and because I was having a computer problem that I hadn't gotten around to fixing yet, I didn't know anything. Now I'm sure my sister's computer skills are great, I don't dispute that. But I actually worked at a job where I made websites for a living, writing HTML, putting together access databases, using dream weaver and photoshop, and with D's guidance, I've fucking built three computers from scratch from the processor to the motherboard and up. But she knows Excel, he says. She's an accountant, so I'm sure she does know it inside and out. But, hey, dad? Remember that part where I worked in RESEARCH at a university? How do you think we managed our quantitative data? Yeah. With EXCEL!!! But who the hell cares who wins the best computer skills contest anyway? I don't care, except that there is always a contest with my dad and she always wins based on no meaningful criteria and no matter what the contest is. I wanna quit a competition I never even entered in the first place.

Wow. I completely went off on a worthless tangent there. Too bad my parents couldn't have been able to read that book, Siblings Without Rivalry. I have read it and I'm trying to already apply it to how I react to my own kids who are so very different, and twins to boot. I know they meant well and did not do any of this comparing intentionally, but man is it a pain to have a SUPERSISTER(r). D has a SUPERBROTHER(r) who's also put on a parental pedestal that creates tension with the other siblings. Have any of y'all got one of those?

Okay, so much for my idea that I would plan out my posts and not just let them take me to wherever incongruent places they take me...

****************

...but now for something completely different:

Besides the above conversation with playground mom, the library and park were very fun and a good day altogether. But our major excitement came in the afternoon when we received our new pets. Ready?

We are now the proud owners of 1000 red wiggler worms! So much fun! And so gross! Ew! Ew! Ew! (If you are squeamish about worms, you might need to stop reading now. Though I am squeamish about worms, and its not as bad as you might think.)

In my continuing journey to become a lighter abuser of the environment, I've decided to set up a vermicomposting farm. That's worms, people. Worms, and lots of 'em. We got a really nice worm composter off of freecycle and I've been researching worms all summer. Ask me anything about earthworms and I can tell you. Did you know they have five hearts?

I got a nice outdoor compost bin that is insulated, so they should be able to stay out there all year. Also, I decided that if I was going to vermicompost, the requirement was that I did not have to actually have to touch the worms (or at least keep it to a bare minimum) so our composter is the kind with tiered shelving that allows the worms to sort out themselves from the compost so I don't have to sort 'em out myself. Because, ick.

If you are unfamiliar with vermicomposting, it is really easy. It sounds much grosser than it is. Basically, worms eat your garbage and turn it into a rich fertile mulch that you can mulch with or fertilize with. They eat anything that you throw down the garbage disposal except meat. They eat anything from your yard. They eat paper. You don't need a shredder anymore, you can give your confidential files to the worms! The worms hate sunlight and being above surface so they really don't get away and escape the bin. They reproduce according to how much they are fed, so you don't have to worry too much about them getting overpopulated. You put them in some moist dirt, feed them your garbage, and forget it.

If I haven't lost you yet, here is how my super cool (and free) composter works:

It has five parts. A drainage bin, three tiers of composting bins, and a lid. The drainage bin on the bottom with a spout so you can drain runoff and extra water. They call this compost tea and if you water your plants with it, they will be very happy. The next layer is where the worms start. You put in some starter bedding and wet it and put in your worms. You can't even see the worms because they hate light and immediately dive into the soil. You feed them your garbage which is anything that used to be alive except meat. (They can actually eat meat, but they do it too slowly and it will rot and stink and attract other animals, so it is best to just avoid it.) They process the veggies and other stuff fast enough, and it an aerobic enough environment that it doesn't smell.

When the first tier is full of compost and empty on food, you place the second tier on top and fill it with a little bit of newspaper and bedding. the worms will crawl through the grate to the next level and you feed them there. Then you repeat with a third level. By this time, all the worms are out of the bottom level and you can take it out and dump the mulch in your garden or wherever, and put the empty tier on top and start again. This process takes a few months, so it is really low maintenance. You just need to feed and water them at least a couple of times a week, and that's it.

The benefits are that it enriches the soil, saves water that you would use to shove it down the garbage disposal and also keeps more trash out of landfills. Since it is an aerobic breakdown of food and paper, it does not get diseased with bacteria and mold like it does in landfills or even in your garbage can. It is just a more sustainable way to get rid of most waste. Between composting and recycling and using cloth diapers, I can usually give the landfill garbage man only one garbage bag a week, and sometimes it isn't even all the way full. If I am good about not buying food in plastic ridiculous containers, I can have even less, but sometimes I'm not so good at that.

So, the funny thing from today was that I was sent my 1000 worms through the U.S. mail. I ordered them from a farm in Kansas. Where else? A standard priority mail box came in my mail. It had very small holes punched in it and it said in big writing, "LIVE WORMS! PROTECT!" I had to walk a block from my mailbox home carrying this box very carefully that said LIVE WORMS on it. I passed a neighbor and just thought, yup. Another reason for everyone to talk about that weird neighbor woman with the twins and the sometimes old man who lives with her and the sometimes wheelchair guy who lives with her and who has a car in the garage she never drives and who never makes good eye contact and never hears what we are saying. Now she's carrying around a box of live worms. Do you think she's causing my house to depreciate?

I was actually very scared of the box of worms. I thought I was going to be completely grossed out. I can handle one worm, but a swarmy bunch of 1000 all wrapped up together in a box? Heeby Jeebies! I grabbed some latex gloves and sticks and all kinds of devices that would put the worms as far away from me as possible. But it wasn't that bad. The worms were all in a zip lock bag with small holes in it. They were nestles in a clump of moist dirt, and I just dumped them into the bin and they just went into the dirt. I did not touch them and I barely even saw them. I did see a few. It was kind of reminiscent of my childhood when I used to actually have a backyard to dig around in.

I think the kids will enjoy this little project when they get older. It's kind of fun. I'll keep you posted. I'm sure you all are just dying in suspense to find out what happens to my pet worms.

The bin is on the shady side of our house. We have about six feet of space between our house and our neighbors. It is worthless, so this is where most people keep their garbage dumpsters.

The first tier of the bin sits on top of the water collection tray. I just dumped some shredding in there to get them started, but, see? You really can't even see the worms. they stay in the dirt.

These are the second and third tiers that will be placed on top of the bottom one in the coming months. Then the tiers will just be rotated every couple of months. I should not have to ever really even touch or see the damned things hardly at all.

Reader Request #3: What exactly is a share of a CSA and is it worth it?

A share in a Consumer Supported Agriculture farm is when you pay upfront to get a share of whatever the farm makes throughout the year. I own half a share, but I get a full share every other week. My CSA is actually a co-op of several local farms. In addition, they will sometimes trade with local grocers for out of region items. For example, right now is orchard fruit season, which is huge in the northwest, but we have no bananas or oranges here at all. So, some weeks, instead of getting 15 pears, we will get 6 pears and 6 oranges, which is kind of nice. I think the kids are getting a little apple and pear-ed out. They have been asking for bananas lately, so I'm glad we got some today. What I get changes from week to week depending on what is in season. Here is my haul for today:

 

What you see here is:

• 4 ears of corn
• 5 potatoes
• 2 yams
• 11 plums
• 5 bananas
• 1 bunch of kale
• 6 carrots
• 6 pears
• 4 peaches
• 6 apples
• 1 bunch of celery
• 2 tomatoes
• 4 oranges
• 2 bunches of grapes

I priced this out on Safeway.com using just general produce (not organic, which all of this is grown organically) and it came to $57.19. I paid $300 for six months of half a share (well, I'm still paying it, they are letting me pay in installments.) That comes out to about $23 per delivery. Plus, did I mention they deliver!!! The savings in the winter time is probably not as dramatic, but since we live in such a mild climate, we do get some things year round and it does end up still being substantially cheaper than the grocery store. They also deliver milk, eggs, cheese, yogurt, and soy products such as tofu, but those are more costly than the store. A gallon of organic milk costs $6.50, whereas in the store it is about $5.50 or so. I do occasionally have them bring it to me in a pinch, though.

I have been using almost all of it with ease except the celery. I don't know what to do with celery besides put some cream cheese in it or throw it in some tuna salad or something. I seem to never use all the celery. But if you plan and think it through, you can use all of this up before it spoils. We eat the bananas first, and then by the end of the two week period we are left with just apples and pears, and so that is when the kids start asking for other things. They have been asking for bananas and grapes for two days now and get upset when I say, No bananas. How 'bout some apples! So today they were happy to get something different. I do not buy additional produce at the store, it is just one way we limit our spending to what we have and can afford. I may supplement in the winter if it seems to get bleak, though. Or maybe I just need to learn how to freeze and preserve! I'll figure it out slowly.

I really believe in buying organic and local as much as possible, even though my father complains about it sometimes. I cannot afford to buy everything organic, but I try to get almost all of what the kids will be eating to be organic, as pesticides and Genetically Modified ingredients have proven to be much more substantially harmful in small quantities for kids. I think that there are a lot of myths out there about organic food just being snob bourgeois bohemian fad, but I think if any one just looks at the science it is pretty much a no brainer that this is how food should be grown. The added cost is more political than because organic crops fair worse. (They actually don't fair worse in the long run. They do fair worse yields at five years, then catch up and 20, and surpass yields by 40 years, because organic methods of agriculture are more sustainable.) The cost of organics is actually a more accurate measure of what it costs to grow food in this country. As of now, small organic farms do not receive government subsidies whereas large corporate farms do. This allows them to drive their costs down. The answer would be for the government to reward sustainable agriculture instead of subsidizing agriculture that tortures our environment. I am no Ag expert, but this is the gist of everything I've read and all the research.

We do not eat a whole lot of meat, but I think meat and dairy are two of the most important things to purchase organic if you are to choose. How corporate agriculture grows cattle and produces dairy is one of the scariest things ever. Bovine growth hormone, antibiotics, pesticides and gm in the feed for the cattle, infection and illness in the cattle...it is disgusting. I would not be surprised if one day in the future it comes out that some of these strange diseases like autism or fibermyalgia or something that have skyrocketed this century are caused by some of this weird shit we eat. Now that I'm used to eating what real food looks like, I can't even look at a red delicious apple (a GM modified apple to increase the size and red color) without thinking it looks odd and fake. It's kind of like looking at a Barbie Doll version of a real fruit. (Okay, things work weirdly like that in my head sometimes.) I have a strong suspicion that the dramatic rise in severe peanut and bee allergies may be caused by genetically engineered food. They take something like scorpion DNA and put it in a peanut DNA to make it not need as much water or something, then kids that may have been allergic to something they would never encounter (a scorpion) are now allergic to peanuts. Instead of asking why is this happening? We just modify our whole lives and all of our daycare centers and airplanes and schools so peanuts are not allowed and these poor kids have to carry around epi-pens and such. When I was pregnant, there were signs all over the OB offices warning me not to eat fish due to the mercury. Fish that is so high in iron and folic acid and omega 3 fatty acids and so good for you when you are pregnant but now you can't eat it. No one questions the fact that we have so much mercury in our fish now that it can endanger unborn fetuses. No one is angered by that. We just adjust our lives to it like it is normal.

Anyway, I'll end the soapbox rant. I am not anywhere near an expert on this, many of you probably know much more than I do (I'm looking at you, Shannon!) I have just been learning over the years slowly and am slowly trying to make changes. It is a work in progress and I do it not only because it makes sense for me and the kids in every possible way, but it is a way that I can vote with my dollar when sometimes it seems that my real vote does not count for much. It is just too bad that the most dangerous, bad for you, and least nutritious food is sometimes the only food low income people can afford.

The Twins on the Bus Go Giggle, Giggle, Giggle

One of the first things I mildly panicked about when I found out I was having twins was how in the hell I was going to get them on the bus and get us around town. I called the bus company to see if they had any ideas. Could I use the lift? Could I keep them in the stroller? No, and no. They further scared me by saying that if I needed to make more than one trip onto the bus to get my kids and folded up stroller on, I needed to remind the bus driver not to drive off with my kids. Yeekers!

When the kids were babies, I decided that it was just not possible to take them on the bus. They were using their car seats in a Graco duo-glider travel system, which is like driving a bus in and of itself. There was no way I could get them snapped out of the stroller, haul the car seats on the bus, fold up the stroller and get in on the bus, then sit on the bus and manage all that so none of it went flying. Since I had moved into my father's house, which is very conveniently blocks from light rail. I relegated us to light rail. Light rail is extremely easy to ride with kids in strollers. You just drive 'em in and park 'em. No need for stroller gymnastics.

When the kids were around one, I bought a cheap-o double umbrella stroller specifically for the bus. It was small, light, and relatively easy to fold up. The kids were old enough to sit up in it and did not need to travel with full car-seat gear anymore. The only other prerequisite I had was that they learn to at least walk a little so I could set them down on their feet while I folded up the stroller and not have to sit them down on their butts in the wet grass. But they were one year olds, so that would happen any time now, right? Heh. Well, Naim walked in late March, but we had to wait until about July for Aaron to catch up. Then all systems were go!

Well, not so much. Then I had to work on the fact that they needed to stay with me when I set them down and not immediately wander off, oh I don't know, say in front of an oncoming bus? We have been working on that for a while now, Naim is very good about it (shyness comes in handy) but Aaron is a wander-and-darter. So it has taken some work.

I have gotten very, very good at getting anywhere I need to go entirely by light rail. But this is often because I decided that if I couldn't get there by light rail, I didn't need to go that bad. I have been procrastinating the bus thing a bit. But finally, we did it. We made our virgin trip together on the city bus last Saturday. We survived OK...but I'll just say that I am very much looking forward to the post stroller era of childhood in this regard. Bus travel is something we are going to do sparingly until the kids can independently walk up the bus stairs and sit down and get around without the need for a stroller.

So I took pictures for ya! But they really are not very good because I was trying to be a bit inconspicuous and I couldn't safely step away from them to take the pictures. Combine that with my lousy photography skills anyway, and well...you get what you get.

Our mission was a trip to Sears to pick up their pictures that I got at Sears photo studio. The destination was a mall that required a train ride to a transit center, and then a bus to another transit center. I picked this trip because we were going from transit center to transit center rather than just a random stop along a road, so I thought this might give us more time to get on board. That was dumb of me. I think it almost made it harder because there were so many people around that the bus drivers were really not paying much attention to me. It may have been better to have been at a stop where I was the only one getting on the bus. But whatever. There is no real ideal or graceful way to get two toddlers, a stroller, a diaper bag, and a blind person on a bus.

First of all, when you are blind, you need two things to travel on public transportation. A white cane (or guide dog) and a transit access book. The cane is supposed to identify you to bus drivers so they will call out the bus numbers to you and call out the stops. This works about 75% of the time. Bus drivers are either the most wonderful, helpful people on the planet that I would trust my kids with, or total jackasses. There is no in-between. But there is a good majority of the nicer ones here, so usually it works out OK. A transit access book is just a book of numbers in it so you can hold up which number of bus you want and they will stop for you and tell you that they are your bus.

 

The transit access book. These numbers are Brailled as well. There is also a TAXI card and a LIFT VAN card. I very occasionally take taxis but never take paratransit unless it is a last resort. It is a way underfunded service and I'd rather leave it for the people who have no other choice.

So, we walked to our very suburban, way out in the hinterlands train station and waited. The kids love the train and are quite familiar with it. They like to watch it coming and know that when the train crossing bells sound that a train is coming.

 

 

We have what are called "low floor" train cars here. This means that the entrance to the train is about even with the platform. It is actually a few inches higher, but for disabled passengers, a little ramp comes out like a bridge on designated doors. Then there are open spaces for wheelchairs to fit right inside those doors. I don't generally need to deploy the ramp because I can pop the stroller up the little step, but D uses the ramp when he rides. The hard thing about this is that not all the cars are low floor cars. Some are the older cars that have about 5 steps up into the train. When the train comes, you have to basically run to the right car if you want the low floor car. This can be hard if you can't see well. But I can usually tell by where the doors are positioned and by where the bend is in the car that comes by. We always take the disabled doors because it is really the only place to park a double stroller. I don't know if you can see this, but I tried to get a picture of the small step up into the train:

j

And here are the kids on the train. They usually sit happily and just watch the people and the doors open and shut and stuff. One thing I thought of is how next to impossible travelling with them would be if we had to travel to work/daycare during rush hour. The train is standing room only then, and when I used to have my guide dog (and thus took up the square footage of three standing passengers) it was real hell sometimes to get on the train and find room for us in a wall of people. There were times we just wouldn't fit and I had to wait for the next train. D has also been trapped amid people and unable to get off at his stop because he couldn't get out. Even the buses, especially certain routes, are standing room crowded during rush hour. I don't know how I would manage then. I guess it is another reason I am lucky to be able to not have to pull a 9-5 right now.

 

I lucked out when I got to the first transit center. I got the kids unbuckled and unloaded their bag and stuff off the stroller. I had them sit there (which was hard for Aaron with no seat belt) until the bus came. Then I had to move quickly to get them out of the stroller, fold it up and get them on the bus. I was lucky here because a woman helped me fold up the stroller and I carried both kids on while she carried my stroller. Woo hoo! for random acts of kindness. We were on the bus!

 

I sat where I used to always sit with my guide dog. In the disabled seating behind the bus driver with my stroller, rather than my dog, tucked under the seat. The kids sat next to me. They were not used to being in a vehicle unrestrained. I think they thought it was pretty cool. But the novelty wore off quickly. They had no idea of bus decorum yet, so my main rule and job was enforcing the butts stay on the seat rule. Aaron was getting very squirmy by the end. You don't want to bring a bunch of toys because you've got to be ready to get them off the bus as fast as you got them on, and you don't want to be rounding up a bunch of crap during that time, but I highly recommend just one book per child. Preferably one of those books with a lot of bells and whistles and textures and flaps and what not.

Our same nice lady helped us off the bus, and we had made our destination. It took about an hour, so the kids were antsy by the end of the trip. Here we are at the transit center at the mall. By the way, for those that are not fluent in bus speak, a transit center is just like a bus airport. A place where a bunch of buses stop so you can transfer to a different bus. The hard thing about this when you can't see is the signage. You have to know whereabouts to stand to catch the bus you want, because there are about ten to fifteen buses that come, but they all park around a big oval or some such shape. If you can't see the signs, you need to memorize where the buses park so you know where to wait for your bus.

 

Here are a couple of shots of the kids playing at the cesspool of bacteria play area in the mall. My trick here is to park myself by the entry so my kids don't get out. I figure if they stay within the play area, they are pretty safe. They come and check on me constantly, though. Or I go around and play with them. All the other parents sit and rest on the benches. I'm constantly moving and I find the whole thing exhausting. But when you are going to stick your kids on a bus for two hours round trip, you've gotta give them something. But after a while I finally couldn't take it anymore and we had to leave when Aaron kept getting stranger kid's shoes out of the cubbies and scattering them about the play area. I'm sure the parents loved watching me try to find the matches and put them all back.

 

 

 

After the play area, I went to Sears where again, what I thought would be a five minute thing lasted about 40 fucking years because Sears Portrait Studio has the slowest customer service on the planet! And then, we had another first. And no, I am not proud of this, but desperate mall trips call for desperate measures. The kids had their first happy meal. [Covers head in shame.] I brought some juice and crackers, but I knew that it had taken us so long that that wasn't going to cut it. I was hungry myself, and the only place I wasn't completely overwhelmed by was McDonald's because it was separate and had its own seating and wasn't in the food court. The thought of navigating that food court with the stroller and food and trying to find a table in the chaos was more than any human should have to bear. So, I went to the McDonald's and ordered them a chicken nuggets happy meal with milk. They happily ate it and happily played with the box and whatever the hell the toy was all the way home on the bus.

I was on my own on the bus ride on the way home. I told the bus driver I needed to make two trips to get on (ended up being three) and he informed me that he was four minutes late and neither cared about or was particularly happy about my predicament. But we made it on and he did apologize to me when we got off at other transit center. (I think he made up his time.) I had this idea that I would put the kids down to walk on their own in the bus and have them wait for me at the stairs while I put the stroller down on the sidewalk. Then I could reach up and grab them. Well, Naim waited for me, but when I turned around to get them, Aaron was turned around backwards, crawling down those gross, dirty steps baby style on his belly. So, we'll have to work on our dismount. But after that, we were home free. To the train we went, which was easy, then back to our station.

 

Then home for naps. They were practically asleep the moment they touched their beds.

So, we need a bit more practice on some procedural things, but we can now take the bus. The whole city is mine once again. Though, I have to say, probably not very often.

One thing I always think about when taking a trip with the kids to some public place like the mall is how much we, and I assume other women with small children, take advantage of all the disability access stuff. Curb cuts, automatic doors, the low floor trains and disabled seating, elevators, the tray assistance and even the wheelchair access table at McDonald's that I just pulled the stroller up to, disabled bathroom stalls where we all fit, transit centers made with even thresholds from bus station to train station, etc. etc. etc. All moms should be giving a little nod to all the disability rights activists that fought for the ADA and for these provisions to be in place. I'll bet it was much harder for our mothers and grandmothers to get around with their babies and packages and whatnot. This is the promise of universal design realized, that what benefits the disabled benefits all.

Diapers, one more time

I'm going to do a quick update post here and then link it to the Great Flushable Diaper Experiment post because I'm getting like a million hits since the gDiaper folks were on the Today Show this morning. If you are a regular, you've heard all this before so you might want to skip this one.

Overall, I think gdiapers are worth a try. They may work great for you. Some people love them. They didn't work well for me. Now, I use chinese prefold during the day with bummi wraps, and either disposables or fuzzibuns at night. my diaper costs and effort are nil with this system. One load of laundry a week and about a hundred dollar investment up front. Compared to a $60 or so dollar a month disposable tab, it was a good investment. Here is a email I sent to the president of gdiapers when she asked me for feedback:

Hi, Kim

I don’t know if you remember, but we have emailed before. I’ve always liked the service of your company, and like what you are trying to accomplish with these diapers. So I will try to be thorough in my response.

First of all, I’ve found that disposable diapers are far superior to gdiapers and cloth diapers in every way except for possibly cost and the impact it has on the environment. (No small issue.) So I am going to compare my experience with gdiapers to that of cloth.

When my twins were about a year old, I made the commitment to switch to cloth for environmental reasons and also to save money. I spent about 75 dollars on 8 bummi wraps, 24 organic Chinese prefolds, a diaper pale with a bummi bag, and a toilet hose. About that same time, someone gave me a gift of the gdiaper starter kit. I thought it was a great idea. No laundry!! No smell!! Great! And those little gpants were SO cute.

After that, I went back and forth between gdiapers and cloth and I just found that cloth is easier, cheaper, more convenient, and works better.

I started having to go back and forth to cloth because one package of gdiaper inserts didn’t last that long with twins, and they were just as expensive as disposables. (I see that now you have them available online in a case and that is a great idea.)

I never took to the flushing because it seemed like around 50% of the time, I had to run and get the plunger. I read all your tips on the web, we even talked about it a bit through email. I thought it might have been a learning curve thing that I just had to get the hang of. I tried all sorts of things like not doing both twin diapers one right after the other.

Flushing

right away and throwing the lining in last. All kinds of things. I never could figure out why sometimes it worked fine and other times it clogged my toilet. I have a newer house, and my toilet is a low flow toilet. I don’t know if that is the cause or what, but the process was ickier than cloth, and half the time it didn’t work.

So even when I went to just dumping them in the trash (you had told me it only takes like 20 weeks for decomposition), cloth diapers were still more convenient. With my bummi wraps, I just quickly fold a cotton prefold and shove it in the diaper. With gdipes, I’ve got to snap in the liner and shove that flushable all up in there and I know I’m only talking about a few seconds, here, but it just takes longer. Then with cloth I just dump the old one into the hamper (if there is poo, I shake it into the toilet, first) I rarely have to touch the yucky part of the diaper because I hold on to the back and it is usually dry back there. With gdipes I had to tear it apart and get the mulchy stuff out and it was ickier. So then, once a week I just throw my whole diaper pale, bag and all into the washing machine and wash it with baking soda which I throw a half cup full in the bag at the beginning of the week and the smell isn’t usually so terrible. Washing that one load of cloth diapers (and I had usually a few gdiaper pants in there as well) isn’t that big of deal to me. Having to deal with my toilet clogging every day is.

Then, I found gdiapers to be inconsistent as far as leakage goes. I mean, NOTHING is as good as disposables in this regard. With cloth, though, I know that if I put the diaper on correctly and don’t let it go over about three hours, it will usually never leak. And when it does leak, you usually get just a bit of leakage around the legs or something first. With gdiapers, there have been numerous times when I’ve just put the diaper on a kid and not 15 minutes later, the whole front of my kid is wet as if he had no diaper on at all. I assume it is because the insert slips down out of place or something, but those gpants are not even close to being waterproof. It seemed to happen with one of my kids exclusively, and I never could figure out what I could do to make that insert stay in place. I guess it was just the fit or the way he moved or something. I do think that in general, gdiapers are more absorbent than cloth. For my other son, they stayed in place and worked fine.

I started getting afraid to leave them in daycare with the gdiapers as well (they go to daycare for two hours, three days a week) because of the leakage problem, and also because I had to keep training every one in how to change their diapers. (Its not that its rocket science, but it is a consideration when you leave your kids with people). People are just more familiar with cloth and don’t like to change the gdiapers. I think that’s dumb, but that  has been what happens. I pick them up and they say, sorry he is wet, but we couldn’t figure out that strange diaper and didn’t know what to do.

To sum up, cloth give me better leakage protection, more convenience, and cost less, and are better for the environment. (I think one laundry load a week with baking soda is probably better than flushing multiple times or throwing them away. And since you still have to wash and dry the gpant, it works out better for the environment.) The fact that the flushables cost the same or more than even disposables is kind of a drawback.

Since I don’t use them very often anymore, I haven’t bought them. I still have some left. I usually only use them on that last day of the week when I should be doing laundry but I’ve procrastinated and haven’t done the diaper laundry yet. I don’t know if I will buy them again. My only reason to buy them now is because I already have the gpants. I assume you are asking for feedback to make improvements, so I’ll keep you on the radar and if things look like they will work better for us, I might consider buying them again.

Sorry to be so critical. I really do wish you luck with your company and hope that this has helped in some way.

How to Explain Buying Organic to Star Wars Geeks

This is dumb, but cute. It's about 3 or 4 minutes long.

Grocery Store Wars | Join the Organic Rebellion.

Back In The 'g'

After re-reading my post on the flushable gDiaper, I thought I sounded lazy, so I kind of decided to try them or cloth again and really commit to getting away from disposables. Then the very friendly Jason and Kim Graham-Nye, the founders of the company, got in touch with me after finding my review on the web and practically counseled me through toilet flushing, diaper cover using 101. I was doing a few things wrong, and I learned a few helpful tips. I guess there is a video on the site, but that doesn't work so well for me.

So we've been using them for a few days now, and just today I went out and bought several more covers. My policy now is going to be "whatever works except disposables." Meaning, I might use cloth in these sometimes if I run out of the flushables and can't get more for a couple of days or if money gets tight for some reason. I might flush these sometimes, and I might trash the insert sometimes. The Graham-Nye's have explained to me (and given me pictorial proof!) that the flushable inserts will biodegrade in just 22 weeks, not 500 years like pure plastic disposables, so I'm not totally cheating if I trash them occasionally.

So, I like the company, I like the people who run it, I like the idea of flushables although it does take some getting used too. I think if you can force yourself through the first few days and get into a rhythm of what system works for you, it will start to seem stupid to use disposables. It's not that hard.

Also I will note here that the lovely figure skater Ms. Sara Skates has offered me a bunch of cloth diapers for my use, so Thanks, Sara...And now I promise to stop talking about diapers.

The Great Flushable Diaper Experiment

I had big plans to use cloth diapers before the kids were born. But then I bought an emergency pack of Huggies, and then I got overwhelmed with parenting and just kept buying the Huggies. But I've been feeling quite guilty about it. We started out using 16 or so diapers a day, and now use about 8 a day. Lots of tonnage of diapers go out to landfills every week in the trash around here.

So a friend from church convinced me to try gDiapers, a flushable diaper product. It has a washable cloth cover and snap-in plastic liner which is similar to what you would use with cloth. Then it has a flushable insert to absorb everything.

What is the stick, you ask? That is your "swish stick" that you use to swish around the flushable insert in the toilet. So today was our experiment day. I bought a starter pack seen above that has two cloth diaper covers, four snap-in plastic liners and ten flushable inserts. That is enough for one day for us. They are in them right now, so we will see how they last overnight.

So far, the cloth cover is soft and fits snug. The inserts are way too big to just put in the cover, they are about twice the size. I tried to fold it over in the front (for boys, as they say) and it eventually got all scrunched down in the crotch. There is a plastic snap in liner inside the cloth cover, so nothing leaked and the inserts do seem to absorb a lot. I was worried about re-using the covers, like they would be wet around the edges and yucky to put back on the kids, but they kept dry and clean. The next time I did not fold the insert down in front, I just shoved the corners in and it was just bulky in the middle. This seemed to work better, but it does make your kids have enormous little bums. The kids seemed not to notice nor care about the different diaper system, so I guess it is plenty comfortable.

No, they aren't on backwards; they actually do fastened in the back with velcro. Putting them backwards is a good idea because my kids will sometimes play with the front tabs on the disposables and take them off.

One thing that is good about flushing is that you get rid of the odor in your house. I am anti-diaper genie, because making little diaper sausages encased in plastic just seems even worse for the environment. I dispose of my diapers in just a regular pail with an air freshener nearby, but I know there is always odor. Flushing takes care of that problem.

Now, the problems:

Okay, so the flushing is a pain. I say this knowing full well that if you want to get away from putting disposables in a landfill, you are going to have to compromise on convenience. They suggest you move your diaper table into your bathroom so you'll be right there, but my bathroom is not big enough. So I essentially have to diaper two kids and then sort of set the dirty flush-able to the side and come back later to flush it. You can't just drop it in the toilet, you have to rip open the outer covering and dump out the inner filler into the toilet. Then you use the swishstick to sort of break that up, and then you drop in the rest. Number 2 material seems to just sit on the outside of the covering and you have to dump that in as well. It clogged my toilet the first time I did it. I ended up flushing four times to get two inserts down. The next time I  really, really swished and let it sit for a moment and disintegrate before I flushed, and this time there were no clogs, but it took forever. I always usually diaper the kids on a schedule right before they eat one after the other. (Unless there is a major blowout, then that is an extra time). So, it is hard to schedule in time to do all this flushing when the kids are ready to eat and I'm rushing around with them.

The other problem is that the flush-able inserts come 32 to a pack for about $15. This will only last me four days and the Huggies are way cheaper when I buy in bulk. Though I suppose way more costly to the environment.

The flushing is the major drawback, but it might be easier than washing a bunch of cloth diapers. Flushing uses water, no detergent, and puts biohazardous waste where it belongs, instead of a landfill. I think this would be a lot easier to use with only one baby, but I say that about everything, don't I? Also,  if you could manage to change the baby in your bathroom and flush right there, that would be a major plus.

I guess these are popular in Australia, but just hitting the market in the U.S. I have only found them at my local natural foods store. For me, with twins and with the fact that I don't drive, the 32 pack business is a bit scary. My store only has one or two packs in stock, and that is only four to eight days worth for me. So I'd be panicked that I would always be running out with no means to get more.

On the plus side for me, I think it gave me a little more idea of what using cloth diapers would be like. A good compromise for me might be a diaper service. There is the whole detergents vs. landfill controversy, but to me, cloth diapers seem to make more sense environmentally. Also, now that the kids are older, they need to probably start feeling the difference between wet and dry a bit more. Cloth diapers make sense in that department as well.

As for gDiapers, it is a good idea and might be an answer for some families, but I don't think I can hack the flushing process. But I really like the diaper covers, and might consider using them with cloth. Try them if you think this might be a good, environmentally sound option for you. They are available online at the gDiapers site.

Overnight Update: Naim's diaper made it through the night just fine. Aaron's flushable got all dis-arranged and bunched up and caused a big leaky mess. As far as effectiveness and convenience, nothing tops disposables. But I still might try cloth...next week, after I do all this laundry from this week's experiment.

5/2/05 Update: I've written an update here, since this post has gotten so many hits from people searching out diaper options.

Square Foot Gardening

So I really want to learn to garden my own organic veggies and herbs, but I have very little land and don't have a clue how to go about it. I came across this link:

Link: Square Foot Gardening

I think this might be something to look into. On the west side of my house, I have about ten feet of rocky space and then a fence. Its just all bark mulched over. I'm trying to determine if it gets enough light throughout the day. It would be nice to have a cube or pyramid of vegetables or maybe even perennials to look at outside the dining room window rather than mulch and fence. Maybe I'll check for the book at the library.