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« From the Rumour Mill: For My Readers who use Medicare for DME. | Main | Some of these are Way Overdue. »

October 27, 2006

Comments

Melissa

Boy is that true! When my twins were born I had a 3 year old, and a daughter who turned 2 two days later. I used to look at people like they were nuts when they told me "oh I always wanted twins!". Seriously. It seems like a wonderful idea, to have 2 at once and how fun it is to dress them up and everything. But you have a lot of other stuff to go along with it. I got pretty lucky with my pregnancy. I had no complications until 33 weeks. I went into preterm labor. I was 2cm's dialted, 80% effaced, and contracting every 2-3 minutes when we got to the hospital. They gave me terb, my blood pressure dropped and I almost lost consciousness. I ended up on magnesium for 2 days in the hospital. Then I went home on bedrest and procardia. That lasted til 36 weeks, then they gave me the ok to move around more. My girls held out til a c-section at 37 weeks. They were 6.4 and 6.2 and healthy. (Emma had body temp issues for awhile, but that was it)

My girls LOVE to team up and get into things. Especially when we are still asleep in the morning. You can hear them whispering together and then the noises of them getting into something ensue lol.

And you definitely have double of everything. I found a carseat I would LOVE to get my girls. It would very well be the last I ever need to buy, but for 2? That would cost me $500 bucks. Yikes.

I gave up any VBAC chance with my twins. (Tried with my first two and they ended up emergency c sections, so the chance was slim anyways). I did nurse them, I became quite good at multitasking and nursing them at the same time. But I was incredibly uncomfortable. More so than a normal pregnancy. I had horrible rib pain, back pain, pelvic pain, you name it. I used to lay in bed at night and just cry because it hurt so bad to lay on my sides. Couldn't lay on my back or belly. It was horrible.

I love my girls to death. And I am so glad that I was able to have them and they were healthy, but I would never want to go through it again.

Emmie (Better Make It A Double)

Thank you for writing this-you've got plenty of eloquent words yourself. It is important that people write honestly about the realities of things that tend to be idealized, even if it's hard to write (and read).

Becca

I am just starting on this journey. My boy/girl twins are four months today. Thank you for your post.

shannon

We've had a couple of "near miss" adoption placements this year, and I have to say I have yet to feel ready. Even with a near two-year age difference, I fear a lot of the factors you raise here. I can't imagine a two-minute age difference--and as a single mom?

You are so totally my hero.

Linda

A lot of what you say is right and I agree with it. But a lot of it makes me sad. I guess I have rose-colored glasses because my pregnancy and labor/delivery went so well. I did have to fight for an unmedicated vaginal birth and then work my ass off to breastfeed them for 13 months, but I think a lot of women fight for that in the current hospital environment. We were discharged in 48 hours and aside from Baby B having some delayed gross motor skills (better after her congenital esotropia was corrected-this runs in my husband's family), we've had no issues.

I think I forget, though, that it's not like that for everyone. I don't think we should be TRYING for twins, but I would hate for people to think it's the bleak picture you've painted.

Also, that tugged in two directions feeling? I think every mother feels that when they have a second child; twin moms just go through it early. And at 2.5 years, I don't really feel it all that often. My kids are so much more independent and have learned that the world doesn't revolve around them. They often have to wait for things. I used to feel bad about it and then I thought WHY? It's a great lesson to learn and I know many adults who still haven't learned it!

Kathryn

Hi Lisa, I can't believe what you have lived through sometimes. You are so strong and doing it alone - it's amazing. I also think that a mother's constant love goes a long way and will server the twins so well for a lifetime even if you don't think you are doing enough - the fact that you think that shows how much you care and how hard you work for them. Thanks for this post, we are heading down a path that could potentially lead us there so I appreciate your frankness. Lastly, I know you probably have a million things you want to write about, but if you ever want to tell us what you did to help Niam develope his speech I would be very interested. Ellie is not talking yet but is trying hard. And the speech therapist we have had, have mainly been pretty poor. I am trying to help her, but feel myself swimming in the dark.

Kathryn

Kathryn

Hi Lisa, I can't believe what you have lived through sometimes. You are so strong and doing it alone - it's amazing. I also think that a mother's constant love goes a long way and will server the twins so well for a lifetime even if you don't think you are doing enough - the fact that you think that shows how much you care and how hard you work for them. Thanks for this post, we are heading down a path that could potentially lead us there so I appreciate your frankness. Lastly, I know you probably have a million things you want to write about, but if you ever want to tell us what you did to help Niam develope his speech I would be very interested. Ellie is not talking yet but is trying hard. And the speech therapist we have had, have mainly been pretty poor. I am trying to help her, but feel myself swimming in the dark.

Kathryn

Earth Girl

My twin sons are now 17 years old. Teenage twins bring a new set of challenges and joys.

shannon

And now for something completely different:

Commentary on the whole Galludet thing? I thought I understood it and then they "explained" it on the News Hour and now I don't understand it anymore.

Minique Jones

I have a set of five year old twins two singletons and is expecting another set of twins in March. I have had semi rough prgenancies and yes I am a single parent. You sound very ungrateful to me after requring help to get pregnant in the first place. Twins run in my family. I had my bouts with depression but you need help.It wasn't a bed of roses for me either, but I was able to give my first set equal attention and I hope I can give my one year old and this set the same attention as my first three kids received. Although I am alone and wished I had the support financial and physically of their fathers I still feel that I was blessed to have all six of my babies.

Lisa

Minique,

Good for you and I wish you all the luck on your current twin pregnancy.

Perhaps you missed the context of this post, and you obviously haven't read the entire website to know enough about how I feel about my twins, who I love and adore. The context was around the culture of IF treatments and decisions we have to make about risking multiples such as how many embryos to transfer. Also the discussion surrounded what information RE's (fertility doctors) are giving us regarding the risks of multiples. Some RE's are giving women little or no information about the risks. My point was that given the choice between twins and no pregnancy at all, I would have chosen twins. However, if I had been given more upfront and accurate information about the risks and consequences, I would have been better prepared for the challenges we faced. We made it through and were extremely lucky, but I believe that the goal of IF treatments should be a singleton pregnancy and the risks of multiples should not be taken lightly.

Perhaps you need to read the entire context of the post, follow the links provided to understand the full discussion, and look at a few more posts within a blog to get the overall feel for what the author is trying to say before you drive-by with a troll post about how I need help.

Again, I wish you well with your family and am happy for you with your pregnancy.

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